


very busy people (but we've always got time for new friends)

by lakeffectkid



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Background Relationships, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-12-17 15:37:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11854575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lakeffectkid/pseuds/lakeffectkid
Summary: “When I'm not working, you should teach me how to cook.” It’s an open statement, not a question or a demand that comes out of almost nowhere, so Mark has a right to refuse it.“What's in it for me?” Mark teases and sticks his tongue out, acting cute to distract from the tremor in his voice. He didn't go into cooking because of his overwhelming extroversion and endless energy (although it may seems like he's an endless supply of it, working in a restaurant), and Jackson's asking him to be good at both of those things without someone to act as a buffer. “I'm not the private chef type, I never even went to culinary school.”Mark works as a chef with his friend Seokjin, who is his co-pilot in every cooking adventure. His boyfriend Namjoon introduces Jackson to the extended social circle and throws off the delicate balance that Mark thought existed. In reality, that balance never existed and everyone's good at pretending they have an idea of what they're doing.





	1. first course - appetizer

**Author's Note:**

> title borrowed from the limousines' song 'very busy people', and my first multi-chaptered endeavor! i hope you enjoy.
> 
> mistakes expected because it's 2am by the time i post this and i have no beta reader \o/

Mark works in a restaurant kitchen and contrary to popular belief, does not hate his job or spit in any of the food. (The idea of spitting in anyone's food would mean more trouble and potentially a lawsuit, depending on the income of the offended customer and he doesn't have time for that.) He likes cooking, being part of the shift in the back of the house and running an efficient kitchen despite being quiet enough where the staff lovingly tease him for not calling orders out aggressively like the chefs on tv do. “You know Gordon Ramsey does all of that for show!”

“He gets shit done, Mark, don't question his results.” Mark flings a wadded up receipt at the poor victim; Namjoon dramatically clutches his chest where the receipt hit him.

The restaurant is split into two; one small section is for ready made food and drinks to go (and Mark swears the smoothies are laced with crack so people come back again judging by the repeat customers but Seokjin thinks it's something in the salad dressing) and a sit down dining area. The kitchen is in the back behind the to go section so as to not offend any of their clientele whose food allergies rotate weekly or don't exist at all. Seokjin's already perfected his imitation of the people who are allergic to wheat one week and then demanding their whole wheat bread be toasted the next within a month of joining the crew, sticking his nose in the air for good measure. 

“Mark, how’s the back looking?” Taehyung, one of the waiters and part of Mark’s extended social circle (and by default his family of choice) calls out from the front. Taehyung is in cosmetology school and he's made everyone he's friends with a victim of his untrained hands. One day when he's out of school and not a waiter anymore, Mark can't wait for him to cut his hair.

“It’s fine so far." The five o'clock dinner rush when all of the yuppie silicon valley types are getting out of work comes and goes every day without fail, all of their orders taken to go wrapped in eco-friendly biodegradable paper made from recycled materials. Mark has an entire list of things he wants to say to the customers but can't at the risk of losing his job, and it's never worth it in the end. 

The amount of ugly tattoos and poorly dyed hair wrapped up in an entitled 20-something package makes Mark dread interacting with people at times but he’s lucky that he doesn’t have to as often as Taehyung or Namjoon, or any of the other waitstaff. He doesn't know how Jihyo manages to charm the customers on a bad knee and pick up the slack for Dahyun who twisted her ankle nearly tripping over someone's free-roam child without screaming. The part he doesn't hate is his co-workers; he's become close with them over time even with his tendencies to listen more than talk.

Namjoon laughs at something that happened in the dining room side, a loud raucous kind of howl that has the other cook, Seokjin, cracking a smile and fondly saying “Joonie, cut it out, you’ll scare the children.” before giving Mark a hand in clearing the wreckage from the late lunch rush. There'll be another wind of dining room customers in a few hours, keeping Taehyung on his feet as payback for getting too comfortable.

Closing comes faster than Mark and Seokjin want it to and the majority of staff mutually agree on a radio station for the back of the house to get a jump on the never-ending list of shit to do by close. Half of them can sing and half of them can't, and those who can't sing along to the radio louder than those who can. (Seokjin claims he's not very good but Namjoon calls his bluff on it.) That’s the time that Mark likes the most, when the customers are gone and he can take off his hat once again (until the next shift) and let his hair loose. His stance on hair nets is summed up in a few succinct words: Hell No.

Namjoon abandons his post at the register and asks Jihyo to watch it so he can stroll back into the waitstaff pickup area and she jumps at the opportunity to sit in the chair and rest her knee (and he does stroll, with his ridiculously long legs and dimpled smile) and sneak up on Seokjin, giving Mark the ‘don’t let him know i'm here’ face with a finger pressed to his lips. 

Seokjin is happily running through the checklist of what to stock from the back when Namjoon grabs him at the waist, yells ‘Boo!’ and watches Seokjin’s face turn as pink as Namjoon’s hair. “Joonie! What if I had a knife and got hurt?”

“Then I’d kiss it better and put a bandaid on.” Mark gags on the sweetness and Namjoon’s stupidity because Seokjin with a knife is a terrifying force of nature that nobody should mess with. Nothing about him cooking is cute and he's lovingly stern on Mark since he chose not to go to culinary school. “.....or take you to the hospital for stitches.”

“More likely you'd need stitches over me." Mark laughs where Seokjin can't hear or see. "Get out of my kitchen, God of Destruction. You’ve already broke two cash registers and you’re banned from touching dishes ever again.” Seokjin pokes one of the dimples on Namjoon's face, watches it crinkle into a smile and pushes him out before he lives up to his name. “Go take a break before we send Jimin after you for slacking.”

“Anything but Jimin!” Namjoon pretends to be terrified and walks out, thanking Jihyo for holding his spot. She really didn't mind, she had to play nice because the owner stopped by and gave her a backhanded compliment that was less of a compliment and more of criticism. The owner's son doesn't mind if she rests her knee; he's had his own brush with a lower back injury that drove him to the point of insanity because he had to stay home.

“The horror of a performing arts major who didn’t get his organic quinoa and kale salad!” (Somewhere on his sixth cigarette break Yoongi cackles something fierce because his boyfriend is actually the scary one of the two, and Jimin doesn’t even work there.)

 

Seokjin and Mark rotate on who’s the unofficial lead in the back when in reality the two of them work better as a team since their personalities don’t clash all that often. Seokjin is a year older but has tendencies to be a goof and Mark laughs at his dad jokes. They’ve had more than enough time to get to know each other idiosyncrasies, down to how much space to give each other and the ease of nonverbal communication when it gets crowded. “So, when did that happen?” Mark checks his phone and rests against the back counter, wiping sweat off his forehead. His hair’s fading back to its natural brown and he hasn’t felt the need to re-dye it since Taehyung was practicing for his cosmetology school tests and Mark volunteered to be his practice dummy. “You and Namjoon.”

“Officially, only a few months. Unofficially since I started culinary school.” Mark whistles and compliments the two on being the definition of taking it slow.

Seokjin and Namjoon didn’t mean to both work at the same place - Namjoon used to live with Yoongi and Hoseok but moved out when he started dating Jimin. And Seokjin just happened to have Jung-Hwan move out and needed someone to help pay rent. They both applied to the restaurant at different times without realizing it while playing tug of war with their feelings for each other. Seokjin is there full time and Namjoon is part time, plus teaching a class at the university he graduated from to try and get a tenured teaching position. “What about you, mister perpetually single? Can’t I grill you on your lack of a love life?”

“You know how weird I am. Nobody likes me past the ‘oh he’s so pretty’ phase once they’re around me long enough.” Mark keeps his restless hands busy with cleaning the same spot over and over until the stainless steel shines and his reflection looks back at him. “The last one said ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ when she broke it off, when it was clearly me.”

“Your equally weird coworkers like you plenty. We’re a big weird food family. Besides, dating is stupid most of the time.” Namjoon chips in with some deep philosophical quote about the value of self worth that goes over everyone's heads while Seokjin just rubs his temples as if to say 'now do you see what I live with?'. “We’re gonna drink at Jungkook’s place after closing, you should come with us.”

The chime over the door jingles and Seokjin’s scrubbing vegan cheese off a spatula when there’s a lot of noise from the front relative to the small number of people in the restaurant. He hates vegan cheese because it doesn't melt right and groans like he's on death row when a ticket comes in and there's a request for it. “Man, what’s up! I didn't know you were in the area again?”

Mark’s curiosity gets the better of his common sense and he leaves the safety of the back to help Taehyung with stacking chairs on the tables just to get a better look. The big boss is away and the manager is in the office so he can break away from the kitchen if only for a few minutes. Namjoon’s giving the guy a bro-hug, chest bumping with someone a few inches shorter than him with a gym bag slung over his left shoulder. He's a fake blond but the color compliments his skin and it practically glows.

 

The late night customers typically come from the gym around the corner - that’s where Jimin works and is fondly known as “that cute receptionist with the little hands” or “Yoongi’s boyfriend with the killer abs.” (The story of how Jimin and Yoongi met is nothing short of ridiculous, because Yoongi is the last person in the world to go to the gym. But that comes later.) The owner of the gym is proud of what he's built in such a short span of time, hiring staff who are just as passionate as he is. He's got the same name as Mark's roommate, Jinyoung, and the big 'JYP Fitness' sign on the front of the building clears up any questions as to how proud he is.

The new Zumba teacher, Hoseok, has drawn a huge number of new attendees that certainly don't hesitate to stare at his reflection in the mirror and slip phone numbers into his gym bag on the way out. Hoseok takes all of it in stride and pins them to a cork board to see how many he'll get. He's really trying to win over the women's kickboxing teacher after he saw her freestyle dancing with Jimin and they waved him into the room, clearing space for him and his big head when it comes to dancing. Jimin told him once she left (and he was watching her leave more than anything else) that her name is Momo.

(Hoseok has made it his goal to take her on a date and find a restaurant that serves jokbal. He'll make it himself if it means a date with her.)

 

The gym bag hits the ground with a muted noise and they talk like Mark’s not staring at the guy with his mouth practically hanging open. (Taehyung snickers and doesn’t say anything, using Mark's presence to convince him into wiping down tables.) “Yeah, I finally passed my physical therapy certification for sports.” There’s a lull in conversation where Namjoon feels up the guys biceps and wolf whistles. “Maybe pediatrics next. I’m working at the gym until I find something more permanent. It’s so fancy there, I can’t believe it.”

“Jesus, you’re moving up in the world already, stop making me look bad.” The guy stretches and Mark blinks, eyes wide with how his athletic shorts do nothing to mask how in shape he is, or the thickness of his thighs. “You really did a lot with that fencing scholarship.” 

“You're a philosophy grad, all you can do is bore people to death with deep thinking and big words, it’s not hard to make you look bad.” Ouch. Mark felt that burn all the way from where he was standing. “What’s good to eat here? I’m starving.” Seokjin smiles knowingly from the back and sticks his tongue out at Taehyung, who started all of it in the first place. “Is it organic? That’s my new thing.”

“Pretty sure it is, let me ask one of the co-” Mark really wishes he was invisible now, staring into his phone like he could disappear into the wall that’s smattered with polaroids of the customers and the places they’ve been if he focuses hard enough. “Mark! What great timing.”

“No, Namjoon. I’m invisible right now.” He tries to hide behind Jinyoung who’s conveniently walking to the back to visit the owner's son in the office but shoves Mark off him with a stiff ‘no’. “See, I’m not here.”

“Mark, my dear friend Jackson,” That’s his name. Mark won’t forget it. Namjoon claps Jackson on the shoulder and hits thick muscle. “Wants to know if our menu is organic.”

Namjoon’s shit eating grin makes Mark want to sic Jinyoung on him. He’s been caught staring. “Yeah, most of it is. I’d double check with Seokjin since he deals with inventory more than I do.”

Jackson, who has nice shoulders (but arguably Seokjin has nicer ones, if Mark really had to compare by measurements alone) and and an even nicer smile, directs that smile at Mark. “What do you suggest?”

“I grab a burger from Shake Shack on my way home most of the time. I don’t eat healthy enough for you gym types.” He’s genuine about it, laughing that all white teeth-bearing laugh and his ears turn a little red from the honesty and embarrassment. His dietary choices kind of blow when he's next to at someone who works out for a living and yells at people to work out for a living too. “Our house burger is what I cook pretty often, we can do a lettuce bun if you’re afraid of gluten like 80% of our customers.”

“Hilarious, Mark, you know how much I love lettuce buns.” Seokjin points his spatula at Mark and makes a throat cutting motion while smiling sweetly at him. He’s not threatened by that anymore but Jackson recoils and shakes his head no.

Jackson looks over the to go options and occasionally to Mark for guidance, who shrugs and isn’t really much help. “The grilled chicken wrap looks pretty good. And a large green tea, to go.” 

“Hot or iced?” Namjoon’s changed from his customer voice to his normal voice, pitched lower and more casual, dragging out his vowels. “Both are good here, sweetened or unsweetened.”

“I’d go with iced.” Mark throws in that at the last minute, tucking his phone back in his pocket. He should help Seokjin with spraying down the back dock but Yoongi already beat him to it, leaving one trash can and hauling the rest out already with the usual stealth. “I like to crunch the leftover ice at the end.” 

Jackson takes his order to go but ends up sitting at one of the still clear tables with his gym bag encompassing two chairs on the other side. Taehyung is sweeping the dining room side since he can't sweep around a customer and turns the radio up. “He’s a personal trainer, in case you were wondering. And he’s single.” Namjoon leans over and chides at Mark, blowing a kiss at Seokjin in the process. Seokjin slices it mid air with a knife.

“I wasn’t asking. Weirdo.” 

“Yeah you were.” Yoongi throws that in when he comes back from punching out, going to pick up Jimin from work so they can meet Hoseok at home and then go to Jungkook’s. “Jimin says he has a nice butt.”

“That’s quite a compliment coming from Jimin.” Taehyung adds from across the room. It is and Mark knows it - Jimin is Taehyung’s platonic better half and would never lie; the duo is inseparable and for Jimin to give a compliment of that caliber means it's serious.

“I hate all of you.” Taehyung pats Mark on the shoulder and revels in his anguish. Mark whines and his head falls to the laminated table with a thunk. “You're all the worst.”

 

After his shift Mark does end up going out for drinks with his co workers and the extended social circle, piling into a few cars to pick up alcohol and mixers. “Who’s place?” His shirt smells clean and his hair isn't that much of a disaster if he messes with it enough. 

“I think Jungkook said it was his turn. Yugyeom would know, he’s got this weird psychic connection with him.” Jimin sips at a water bottle in preparation for the night.

“They live together.” Hoseok says, carrying two six packs and motioning for Jimin to get his debit card so he can pay. 

“I forget sometimes, the kid’s so shy he won’t go anywhere unless he’s got a shield.” 

“They're both growing like weeds, it's not fair if they catch up to us.” Mark shoots Yugyeom a quick text to say they'll be there within twenty minutes.

Mark doesn’t pick up any drinks but he grabs a bag of pretzels instead; half of his weird friend circle likes drinking, a quarter drinks too much, and the remainder doesn’t drink at all. He’s part of the doesn’t drink at all portion unless he's in the right mood - the unfortunate asian flush decorates his face too quickly and the feeling of losing control isn't his favorite. “Jinyoung coming?”

“Is Jaebum?” Jaebum is the restaurant owner’s son and he looks more serious than he actually is. Jinyoung says he has a mean case of resting bitch face and swears up and down that he knows how to smile. He’s got a soft spot for Jinyoung and his cats, bossing everyone around and then feeling bad about it before slinking into his office because he doesn't need to be hard on the employees, it's just a bad habit he's picked up from his dad. “Then expect Jinyoung to follow.”

Mark gets lost in the conversation when the swarm takes over Jungkook and Yugyeom’s apartment, taking up space on the floor, couch, kitchen counter, wherever limbs and bodies may fit. The other roommate, Bambam, is setting up the game console and checking on the ice in the bucket of drinks. Hoseok raises his offerings and Bambam smacks a wet kiss on Hoseok’s cheek that smells like fruity lipgloss. “Kid, you need to stop pregaming, you're a lightweight.”

“Do not! Mark!” Bambam leans on Mark after breaking out of Hoseok’s grip and tells him about his classes, how he's taking a course on haberdashery and shoe making this semester.

Someone opens a can of beer and someone else opens a bottle of wine; when the alcohol drains away Jimin will drag an unwilling victim to dance with him until someone cries from laughing. (Mark might end up hanging out in the background of it all, nose deep in his phone, but he appreciates the company regardless.)

In the midst of a Mario Kart war between Yugyeom and Bambam after defeating nearly everyone else in the room, another straggler that Yugyeom slowly worked into the group arrives. Namjoon gets up (with Seokjin watching in case he trips over his own limbs) to try and meet him at the door. “Jackson’s here! You’ll love him, Mark, Yugyeom already does.” Mark giggles at how tipsy Namjoon is because he forgot he already introduced Jackson to Mark earlier. 

“Sit your drunk ass down, Joon, I’m only stopping by for a little bit to catch up. I can’t not see my favorite little brothers.”

Mark sloshes his half empty water bottle around, wishing he could click his heels together and disappear before anyone notices his lingering gaze on Jackson or comment on why he's so quiet for the umpteenth time in his life. (If he had a dollar every time someone said that, he'd be rich.) Jinyoung is back at his and Mark's apartment with his mouth probably attached to Jaebum’s face. He’ll spare them the embarrassment until they’re done and wait the party out longer even though nothing is keeping them there except the car he rode shotgun in.

“Mark, right?” There’s other voices that Jackson has to compete with; somehow Mark thinks that isn’t a problem after the display earlier. Yugyeom wins the final game of Mario Kart and Bambam decides that Yugyeom isn't allowed to sleep in their bed tonight, loudly and dramatically. “Namjoon didn’t really introduce us and I felt bad bothering you while you were at work,” Jackson’s adorably bashful now, the big personality that Mark witnessed earlier toned down now in the overwhelming atmosphere of this many people. He ducks his head and angles his face towards Mark. “I wanted to tell you that I like your smile.”

Jimin crawls onto Yoongi’s lap and he’s gone already, pushing into Yoongi’s personal space that doesn’t seem to exist when he's around. Yoongi's probably checking his email around Jimin and tickling his rib cage until the other squirms and settles down or moves to Taehyung and gets uncomfortably close. Mark’s not sure how to handle Jackson’s compliment, ducking his head and saying ‘thank you’. “Is that all?”

“And the iced green tea is better.” Jackson flashes his own smile at Mark, his short blond hair a little damp at the ends. He must have showered before coming here, Mark thinks, playing with a ring decorating his index finger. “You were right about that.”

“You don’t think crunching on the ice is weird?” 

“I don’t think it’s weird at all.” Jackson raises his own water bottle to Mark’s and they clink the plastic caps together. “The ice hurts my teeth, so I can’t.” 

Mark gets lost in conversation and it’s only when Jackson tells him he should be going that Mark wants to go too but his ride is somewhere in the room and probably not sober enough to drive. “I’ll take you home too? If you’re alright with it, I know we just met and all.”

“Sure, thanks.” Jackson’s not a stranger, not when he’s known Namjoon, Bambam, or Yugyeom long enough to call them family and ruffles Bambam’s perfectly styled hair on the way out, making the other grumble and attempt to fix it. “That’d be great.”

Jackson’s gym bag is in the backseat but it’s emptied out and doesn’t smell like feet. His car is surprisingly clean but that’s because Mark’s looks like a disaster in comparison. “What, expecting me to kidnap you or something? I have duct tape in my trunk but not bungee cords.”

“No, you don’t look like the axe murdering type. Maybe the handsome stalker type.”

“You think I’m handsome?” Jackson purses his lips together in an adorable manner and laughs, his exclamation a little too shrill for someone with his physique. “I'm honored, mark.”

“A little, but it’s hard not to think so when you look like that.” Like that, as in, a white v neck and pants that hug his legs with a snapback keeping his damp hair back. It's an outfit that anyone could look good in but few look great in. Over the low hum of the engine Mark feels embarrassment creep up his spine when he's caught staring at the hint of collar bones sticking out from under his shirt like some kind of pervert. So what if he's been single for a while? 

Mark doesn’t run inside immediately when Jackson stops at his apartment even if he wants to forget his awkward, unintentional compliment that slipped past his filter. Instead he thanks Jackson for the ride and thinks about running his fingers through Jackson's blond hair, the shorter parts coming back in a dark brown that’s probably his natural color. “I’ll see you around?”

“Maybe, if our schedules line up.” 

Jinyoung’s playing with Jaebum’s hair while the latter sleeps with his head on Jinyoung’s shoulder; Mark waves and keeps his grand entrance quiet so he doesn’t disturb them. Realistically they should both be in bed since Jaebum has to go to the restaurant tomorrow and Jinyoung has work. “How was Yugyeom’s place?” 

“Good, I’m exhausted. And need a shower.” 

“Get some sleep after that, thirsting after Namjoon’s hot friend must be tiring.” Jinyoung’s face contorts into something evil, like he knows too much and Mark doesn’t know anything at all. Mark lives with a demon. 

 

The gym is uncharted and scary territory; Mark only knows Jimin through Yoongi and by association of everyone else, like most of his friends. Too many nights just tagging along with his work family to each others' overstuffed and rent-gauged apartments leads to that kind of relationship.

“Hi Mark!” Jimin is freakishly awake for ten am; the kid’s probably been awake since sunrise at the dance studio in the basement and left Yoongi grumbling about it. “What brings you our way? Finally come to join the rest of the world on treadmills?”

“Hilarious, but no.” He idly rubs at the sleep behind his eyes; how is Jimin so functional when he drank last night and Mark didn’t? “You work with Jackson, right? Namjoon’s friend?”

“He’s with a client right now, why? Did you need his number?” Jimin swipes people in while they talk and underneath his smiley exterior lurks the same demon that possesses Jinyoung. Maybe it hops from body to body, following Mark around. “I hear he’s single, don’t ask me how I know.”

“Gossip king Park Jimin, I wouldn’t know where to start.” Mark isn’t close with Jimin like he is Seokjin or Jinyoung but he’s easy to talk to and isn’t bothered when Mark has nothing to say. Plus, he makes Yoongi happy and that’s really all that matters in the end. “I brought him lunch, but I don't want to bother him if he's busy.”

“Hang around here and he'll find you, he came in this morning smiling like an idiot and wouldn't tell me why. It must be something to do with you.” Jimin goes back to his book; Mark feels stupid standing there with a Tupperware of food for someone he's known less than a day.

Mark pretends to be busy on his phone until a loud and familiar face is right in front of his. He rubs sleep out of his eyes, still. “What brings you here? Do you miss me after one day?” jackson looks great in his work shirt, fitted just right at the shoulders and slope of his waist. “earth to Mark!”

“Sorry, I zoned out. I um.” He digs through his bag for the Tupperware with a post it note stuck nicely on top, his swirly and neat handwriting in blue pen. His palms are sweaty and he really hopes Jackson doesn’t notice that when the container changes hands. “Brought you lunch. In case you can't make it to the restaurant later tonight. I was trying something new and had leftovers, it's similar to the thing you had yesterday.” He didn't have leftovers, he went out and bought everything fresh and came home to a nosy Jinyoung who sat at their little kitchen table organizing his papers and leafing through parent-teacher meeting requests. 

As if on cue Jackson's stomach growls and he sends another blinding smile at Mark that chips away at the other's resolve. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since they met. “You're an angel. What's in it?”

“I wrote everything I used on the post it, in case you're one of those calorie trackers or have an allergy.” Mark anxiously passes his phone back and forth between his hands until Jackson talks again and practically beams at him like a puppy whose owner came home from work. 

“You didn't use anything spicy, I think I love you.” 

“Not a heat guy?” Mark asks, trying to gauge Jackson's preferred tastes without asking directly. “I don't go spicy unless people ask, or it’s one of Jinyoung’s family recipes.”

“Namjoon pranked me by putting jalapeños on my burger once.” The empty space on the bench next to Mark isn't empty anymore; Jackson's there now and he's a little sweaty from working with his clients but Mark sweats in a kitchen every day so that doesn’t strike him as inherently bad. “I started crying and Yoongi made him sleep on the couch after apologizing.” 

“He didn't take the inside of the pepper out? That's brutal.” Jimin’s busy with a game of candy crush, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration but somehow always listening to everything. “Sorry he did that, even I don’t leave the seeds in.” Between them the clanking machines make enough noise to kill any words either of them want to say.

“When I'm not working, you should teach me how to cook since you're good at it.” It’s an open statement and a huge assumption at the same time, not a question or a demand that comes out of almost nowhere, so Mark has a right to refuse it. Jimin’s now busy cooing and kissing Yoongi’s face because he stopped in to say hi and bring Jimin his tablet charger on the way to his second job that isn’t the restaurant.

“What's in it for me?” Mark teases and sticks his tongue out, acting cute to distract from the tremor in his voice. He didn't go into cooking because of his overwhelming extroversion and endless energy (although it may seems like he's an endless supply of it, working in a restaurant), and Jackson's asking him to be good at both of those things without someone to act as a buffer. “I'm not the private chef type, I never even went to culinary school.”

“Consider it helping out someone who misses coming home to his mom's cooking. I have a big kitchen but I don't know how to use it for things other than heating up take out and doing basic things.”

“Fine, I can't say no to the puppy eyes and a good sob story.”

Mark almost forgets to ask for Jackson's number so they can coordinate when to meet up as his next client comes in. She's pretty and has defined abs, her hair in a tight braid and she's definitely jackson’s type (or at least Mark assumes she is). Mark feels like he’s lost already when Jackson puts his work face back on and asks “How's your husband doing after that torn Achilles? Hopefully he stays off it.”

He’s exhaling a breath he didn't know he was holding in and is halfway out the door when Jackson grasps his hand to stop him. (Jimin quietly sends a text at the reception desk.) "What did I forgot?"

"My number, here." Jackson is a tactile person, wrapping his bony fingers around Mark's skinny wrist and reaching for his business card. "So we can, uh, arrange details and stuff."

"Right." The card feels like a lead weight in his palm, how they went from strangers to cooking buddies over the course of a conversation. 

When he gets to work later that day Jin’s already in the back and waves at him, a shit eating grin on his face. “A little birdy told me you’re gonna teach Jackson how to cook.”

“Nothing ever stays a secret here, does it?” Mark rubs his eyes and ties his apron in a double knot, rolling his shoulders. Another shift, another day of work.

“Not when Park Jimin is involved, things don’t.” Somehow Mark doesn’t mind that.

 

On Mark’s next night off, he’s whisked off to hot pot and drinks with his usual group - Jinyoung doesn’t give him any room to complain about going out and smashes any excuses for staying in with his 'I'm sick of your shit' glare he gives the elementary school kids while Jaebum rounds up the rest, playing dad to their rowdy kids. Time passes in a strange, ambiguous blur because Mark works nights and days, and keeps a schedule almost opposite of his friends with more regular hours. He wouldn't trade it for the world, of course. 

Mark’s glad to see Youngjae the most; he has an immune system that could be better so everyone knows to not share a glass or utensils with him just in case. He’s distracted by his 3ds and the latest game he picked up but not distracted enough to wave hello. He’s in school to be a vet and Mark admires how hard Youngjae studies and gives his free time to the animal shelter. Youngjae is Jinyoung's second cousin and more like a brother than anything else - they look nothing alike but the sharp tongue that Mark's roommate has seems to disappear around Youngjae due to years of doting on him.

(That’s how Youngjae knows Bambam, after all, through the animal shelter. Yugyeom had been quietly motivating Bambam to do something with his time and he found it, which is how their little group slowly grew.)

Jinyoung doesn’t have more than two drinks before he’s flushed red and smiling at Jaebum like the sun comes out of his ass. “What are your seven year olds in class tomorrow gonna say?” Yugyeom taunts. 

“They’re seven, I’ll put on a movie.” Jaebum takes Jinyoung’s glass and fills it with water instead of more alcohol, his thigh an anchor for Jinyoung’s wandering hands and holding Jinyoung upright by his waist. Yugyeom snickers from across the table and Mark likes the comfortable conversation between the six of them that sometimes lulls into silence that isn’t awkward. “Being seven is easy, being a teacher isn’t.”

"Clearly, when their teacher goes drinking with his boyfriend on a weeknight it screams 'I'm ready to plant the seeds of success in young minds.'" Yugyeom dodges a glare from Jaebum for that. 

Mark is asking Bambam where he got his shoes - they’re studded, ankle high, and have ridiculously tall platforms for someone already tall. They match the choker around his neck that Yugyeom keeps staring at when nobody thinks he is when a louder voice apologizes for being late. “Jackson!”

“Hi again, Mark.” It’s not that Mark doesn’t want to talk to anyone else, it’s just that when Jackson’s involved Mark forgets there’s other people in the room. He's been meaning to set up their first cooking lesson but they're never off work on the same days or working opposite hours. And maybe they’ve been texting for a few days too when they have the luxury of it and Mark's already decided he likes the cadence of Jackson's voice. It doesn’t mean anything. Except it does, and under the film of good company and good food he can't see the other sets of eyes on him and Jackson. 

There’s little preamble and Mark feels warmth settle in the base of his spine when Jackson’s hand comes to rest on Mark’s knee like it was made to go there. Mark doesn’t push it away and passes a menu to Jackson, leaning in when he starts to speak. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was coming tonight, I was running late with a new client and she was a little pushy about 'getting to know me' during the session.”

“Pushy, huh?” Mark raises an eyebrow at that comment, it’s not proper dinner conversation but their proximity isn’t proper dinner etiquette either when the hand curls around his knee and stays there. “What’d you tell her?”

“I told her to do another set and then after she was too tired to say anything else.” Underneath Jackson’s cute exterior is something wicked and Mark loves it. “What’re you having to drink?”

“I can’t, Jinyoung is a little bit of a mess right now and someone’s gotta drive home.” Jackson tsks and orders something light, snatching Yugyeom’s pork belly off the grill while the younger pouts. 

"Yeah? That's a shame, you make good company riding shotgun in my car."

 

The story of how Youngjae and Bambam met isn't exciting but it does have a happy ending. Now Youngjae and Bambam walk together to the shelter for work on most days but before that they didn't know each other existed and didn't merge their friends together, either. “I got Coco from there, remember?” Youngjae carries a backpack with treats for the shelter animals and a change of clothes in case of accidents and his work clothes so he can go right to work from the shelter.

(In Youngjae’s first few months of his job at the animal hospital a stray Maltese came in from the shelter and his heart sank. She was little and her fur was matted but he spent the better part of two hours cleaning her up and ignoring his actual job until she didn’t look like a lost cause. Jinyoung thinks Coco is cute even if she yips at him or refuses to acknowledge his existence unless he has a treat on him. Youngjae considers it a victory when Jinyoung likes an animal that's not Jaebum’s cat.

So he adopted her as soon as possible, running to the shelter with everything he needed to make it official and take her home after she got the clear from the animal hospital. They’re inseparable now. And that's where he met Bambam, waving a feathery toy in front of a pile of rescue kittens to paw at while keeping an eye on the door in case anyone showed up. “Can I help you?”

“I want to adopt a dog.” The pile of rescue kittens still fought over the toy when Bambam stood up and even followed him when he shouted for Sana to come out and get adoption paperwork out. Youngjae didn't know what to think of the situation but all he felt was the need to get Coco back in his arms.)

“I know, it's just, Gyeom wants a dog too but not one that weighs less than a rabbit, you know?” Youngjae’s not offended at that comment, quietly directing Bambam in the right direction and listening to him talk. “We met because of the shelter and it turns out our friends all know each other. You're even related to Mark's roommate and I met Mark through the guys he works with. Maybe we would have become friends either way.”

"Fate works in strange ways, don't you think?" 

They don't bring up that topic again and instead split off in two directions once the receptionist, Sana, waves at them. She's cuddling one of the rescue bunnies and letting it hop around the office when it gets fed up with her affection. “Good news! Some family looked interested in that little husky mix earlier today.” 

“Miho?” Youngjae noticed the obvious droop in his friend's shoulders. Huh. That rarely happens and he takes note of it in case it happens again later. “That's great.” It's back luck to name a rescue dog when it's not your own and there's always a chance of someone adopting it when you're away. 

“I hope they come back, the poor thing couldn't sit still after the family left.” Sana clicks her tongue at the rabbit and it stops biting on the desk only to resume doing so a second later. She sighs. “They said they'd be back around four, but if not then I guess someone else has a chance to get her. I'm still trying to wear Mina down on letting us take this guy home but she's stubborn.”

"Isn't Mina allergic to rabbits?" Youngjae asks, rifling through his bag for the rabbit treats so it can stop chewing on the desk leg. "What about your landlord?"

Sana bops the rabbit on the nose when it begs for a treat and attention. "Kids cause more damage than this guy ever would."

Youngjae watches Bam go in the direction of Miho’s cage, eager to sit on the floor and socialize with the puppy the entire day despite knowing he has to divide his attention equally. By the end of the day Youngjae had to all but tear Bambam away from Miho despite his protests and walks in him making a phone call. He's leaning against the wall, the hand not holding his phone flexing and clenching, occasionally drumming his fingers against the wall or scratching Miho's ears. “Hey, Gyeommie? The landlord allows pets, right? Good, that's. That's great, I can pick up extra hours at the studio or something to afford the extra fees, I don't care.”

Oh boy. “Mook, think about this first.”

Bambam lowers the phone away from his ear, a resolute “I've thought about it since the first day I saw her. I can't walk away again.”

“Then go for it.” Youngjae feels a strange sense of pride at the little skip in Bam’s step when he doesn't put Miho back in the cage, just walks and the puppy follows behind him to the front desk without a leash. “Sana, I think that family is a little too late.”

She takes out a clipboard and paperwork, shrugging and pretending it's okay if some of it is filled out wrong. “Credit or debit? The fee is lower since you're one of us.”

“Sana, it doesn't work that way.”

“It does when he's in love with the puppy, Youngjae.” He's never seen Bambam this excited about anything except Yugyeom, seeing his family, and designer clothing on sale. “Bring the leash and collar back next time you come in, I won't say a word.” She passes the items through the window and smiles at him.

Bambam comes home a little lighter and his roommates are delighted. Youngjae feels proud of him for taking a chance and Yugyeom is equally excited to have a puppy as the puppy is to have a forever home.

 

They settle on a weekly basis, every Saturday come hell or high water. Mark tosses and turns the night before their first meeting, pacing around the living room until he's worn out. "Having your cooking date with Jackson tomorrow? I heard from Jaebum who heard Taehyung talking about it. I think he heard from Jimin."

"Everything comes from Jimin, I swear." He groans and Jinyoung laughs, correcting spelling tests and putting stickers on them. When Mark groans louder and lays on the floor Jinyoung puts a smiley face sticker on his forehead. 

"It's for your hard work in seducing Jackson through his stomach."

"I haven't done anything yet." 

Instead of cooking on the first Saturday together Jackson and Mark spend half the day figuring out what to make. Jackson doesn't live in the city, he's a little ways away in the suburbs and there's a lot more square footage for the dollar - Mark tries not to gawk in envy at the size of his apartment; the one he shares with Jinyoung is described as cozy, which is code for 'small'. 

"Your kitchen is beautiful and you don't know how to use it!" Mark is more torn up about how the appliances look barely used, save for the microwave. The open floor plan has a comfortable looking living room and a big couch that could easily fit them both. Jackson has a good sense of style, his personal color palate filled with red and gold with off-whites. Mark takes inventory of what Jackson has and what he doesn't - appliances and kitchen tools, a running list in his head of what they could do today. 

They channel surf because Jackson has next to no groceries and settle on food network. “These cooking shows are so dramatic.” So what if the camera zooms in on the chef that dropped his almost complete dish on the floor with ten minutes left on the clock? Mark’s done that before and he doesn't get thousands of dollars just for not dropping food on the ground. He scoffs at the melodrama of it all.

Realistically they should go out for groceries or maybe make a plan as to what they’re even going to cook in the first place but that's a lost cause. Jackson fights him for the remote when Mark tries to change the channel to something different and it results in Jackson finding Mark's ticklish spot on his ribs, bony fingers just grabbing hard enough for muscle memory to savor it. (There’s a little flutter in his heart when Jackson pulls away, apologizing for getting up in his personal space and offers to refill their drinks a little too early. He blames it on being hungry.) 

“Chopped is great, shut up.” Mark laughs and doesn't mind Jackson feeding him take out off of his wooden chopsticks like some indirect kiss right after the semi-awkward encounter a few minutes before. “I know this doesn't fit my organic image; if Namjoon saw me he'd call me out.”

“Your secret is safe with me” take out has never tasted better. He licks soy sauce off his lips and doesn’t notice how Jackson stares at that. There's always another time to plan their lessons out.


	2. second course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We need to get married so you can cook for me all the time." The exclamation is so ridiculous that all Mark can do is laugh it off even if it makes him wonder how serious Jackson was when he said it. The only time Jackson doesn't talk is when he's eating and he doesn't miss a drop of it, debating on going back for seconds. The butterflies filling up Mark's stomach leaves little room for any food and he's full by seeing Jackson happy; he thinks he won't need to eat ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a mix of everything in this chapter, it may or may not be a slow read but i really want to build up the relationships between everyone even if it's only a little, so bear with me. i wanted to introduce some more characters too so there'll be lots of time for the markson! please enjoy! :) this isn't as long as the last chapter either.
> 
> also, i got very hungry looking up food to make for this chapter. (also not beta read.)

It starts with Namjoon and Seokjin making plans to go to the carnival that takes over the block every summer - Jimin invited himself (and Yoongi by default) without asking but it’s expected that they show up. This snowballs into the work family and then some being invited to go, pushing the limits on noise violations and how many people can fit in the cars or be crammed into an apartment. Bigger groups don't always outweigh the intimate friendships - sometimes more can be a good thing. Mark avoids the carnival like an ex (and the hilarity in all of it is that he saw his ex there last year - he ducked and ran for cover, all the way back to Jinyoung and decided not to go out for a while after that). This year is different and he can't pinpoint why. 

“How's it been since you got back?” Lunch with is on Namjoon today, who is Seokjin-less because he's visiting his parents and didn't want to subject Namjoon to that just yet. It’s not time for him to meet the parents yet. They're not at the restaurant today but they grab Panera Bread instead, basking in the chilly air conditioning. “I didn't expect you to come back in the first place.”

“Trust me, I didn't either. I'm renting an apartment outside of the city because everything's so expensive around here that I didn't have the money for anything near the gym.” Jackson missed Namjoon and his easygoing personality, how he has a good sense of humor and would never hurt someone on purpose, not even a spider. “There's still a lot of stuff in boxes but it felt like I unpacked nonstop for a week!”

“When I moved out of Yoongi and Hoseok’s place I felt the same way,” Namjoon talks between taking a bite of his sandwich and Jackson pulls his grilled cheese into pieces so the cheese oozes out and he forgot how delicious empty calories could be. It fits into his macros and that's really what counts. “Yoongi is still finding shit I left at the other place and bringing it over.” 

“When did you two happen?” Jackson watched those two dance around each other through undergrad, when Seokjin was just an acquaintance working at a diner and Namjoon functioned off coffee and breakfasts from said diner. “Last I heard you were pretending not to like each other and Seokjin was thinking about culinary school.” 

“He finished a little while ago, after you left and we fell out of contact.” It's hard to ignore how Namjoon looks guilty when he says that, twisting the plastic cap on his iced tea bottle on and off, physically making himself smaller and his expression fades. “I'm sorry I did that to you, in case I didn't say anything earlier. I got too busy with my life and Jin that I forgot to talk to you.” 

“It's fine. Half of the blame is on me anyway, it takes two to stay in contact.” They don't bring up Mark once, just talk about work and how Jackson really seems to enjoy Hoseok, Momo, and Jimin's company. (If Jackson were straight he'd try to steal Momo out from under Hoseok's nose but he'd never be that guy.) “So, want to hear about how Hoseok fell on his face in front of his Zumba class? I was passing by the room and his footing on the balance board slipped in front of everyone! I took a video of it too.” 

Jackson has his phone out before Namjoon can answer and it's an enthusiastic “Show me! And send me the video!” too, in case there was any hesitation. “Did anyone else see this?”

“I sent it to Jimin so I think the entire world has seen it by now.” God knows it has by now, and Yoongi won't let up on the teasing, ever.

It doesn't take very long for them to fall back into their usual pace of conversation and behavior, playful and far too reminiscent of when they were younger. Even then back in college Namjoon had been the more progressive one comparatively; he was rarely concerned with the stigma of two guys having a close friendship with Jackson that bordered on a little _too_ close. People used to talk and Jackson pushed Namjoon away so nobody had the wrong idea of him. Now he's realizing it was a mistake but he can't change the past and what he did when he was younger. All he can do is make up for it. “So, how's teaching going for you? Did you miss being in school that much and you decided to subject yourself to it all over again?”

“Well,” And Jackson can't forget how Namjoon expresses his feelings with his entire body - eyes nearly disappearing when he laughs, dimples pocketing on his face and his posture relaxes completely. It's familiar and grounding, Namjoon being one of his closest friends here and thanks to him he met everyone else. Especially Mark, by a stroke of luck. “Jin and I work together a few times a week but we can't really be domestic when he's holding a knife, so I went to look for academic jobs instead.” 

The relaxed pace of a Panera Bread in the early afternoon allows them to take their time. “And now I'm an adjunct professor from where we graduated, just for the 101 and 201 classes but I get mistaken for a student more than anything else. It's kind of nice, I don't make the students call me Mr. Kim, it makes me feel old.” 

He looks better now, Jackson thinks. Namjoon’s face filled out and it looked less angular, like he's finally done growing and can afford to eat more than one meal a day. It's a good change, and most of it must be from Seokjin feeding him so often. He's carrying less negative stress, taking out his phone and pulling up a music app. “Me and Yoongi have been working on this for a while. It's not polished yet but he's too much of a perfectionist to leave any track alone. We're not hoping to get famous, we just want to make a change through music, you know?” 

Back in Hong Kong when he was younger and more optimistic about the future Jackson believed he could have done something like that. He felt a shift in his life after the handover once he was old enough to realize what it all meant and maybe that's what changed his mind. Now he’s certain this is his life and what he wants from it, maybe with the addition of Mark in it. 

But it's too early for him to think of that, not when he's doesn't even know if they'll last as friends.

 

Seokjin smokes sometimes. On his own or with Yoongi at the restaurant, it's just the life of a food service worker and he vowed he wouldn't fall into that trap. Namjoon’s been trying to get him to quit for some time now, going to the lengths of hiding the pack or his lighter, only to have Seokjin pull a replacement out of thin air. He knows it's bad for his palate and his livelihood - if he can't taste anything what's the point of cooking? (And obviously his health, but he doesn't need to be reminded of the fact.)

“Is it work stress?” Namjoon rubs any knots from Seokjin’s shoulders and finds the magic spot where the latter melts into the couch. Their shared apartment is a little messy, a little colorful and very much them. Seokjin's professional knives sit in a black travel bag and he keeps them away from everyone, Namjoon has an Everest-sized crate of books in his room and some of their clothes are precariously folded. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Keep rubbing my shoulders, that’s a start.” Namjoon’s not opposed to feeling his boyfriend's beautiful broad back under his fingertips, pushes away the impure thoughts that threaten to blossom into something bigger. “Joonie?”

“Yeah?” Namjoon’s mind is off somewhere else, possibly lost in a book he’s been meaning to lend to Jinyoung when he came into the restaurant and mentioned how he was running out of things to read. 

“I love you.” 

 

The carnival falls on a weekend and it's a stroke of luck that Mark is free but his promise of cooking with Jackson takes priority. He's been quietly anticipating it since they last hung out, eating off each other's chopsticks in Jackson's living room and fighting over the tv remote. He texted Jackson earlier that he's on the way, groceries for the day's meal in reusable canvas bags that the cashier guilted him into buying. (He'll get over it in a few days when the bags get used more by Jinyoung than himself so his money didn't go to waste in the end, really.) 

Mark still asks for permission to come into Jackson's apartment even though he's an open book who trusts damn near everybody; it's a tough habit to break. 

Jackson is in the middle of cleaning up when Mark sets the bags down on the back counter and washes his hands under warm water, counting to thirty in his head before rinsing his hands clean and getting Jackson's attention for the second time in under five minutes. "Are you going tonight?" He asks again. Jackson putters around some more, throwing a folded blanket over the back of the couch. 

"Going where?" He finally lifts his head up and gives Mark his complete attention. He's done making an effort to impress the other with a clean apartment like a bird building a nest to show off. Mark has to tear his eyes away from dark wash denim that looks like it's painted on Jackson's legs and a t-shirt that's fitted where it matters when they're both in the kitchen under the natural light. Mark feels less put together in his own choice of clothes and he should have heeded Jinyoung's advice to dress nicely even if they'd be getting a little messy. It probably doesn't matter since Jackson looks at Mark like he's the sun. "That thing Namjoon told me about?"

"Yeah, it's like a tradition for the restaurant employees to go together and bring a few outsiders along." The restaurant isn't a cult but rather a tight-knit family and the comment about outsiders is all in jest. Jackson leans into the counter and encroaches upon Mark's space. "Wanna be my plus one? We can try to win a giant teddy bear together."

"I'm not a good enough teddy bear for you?" This kitchen's layout is unfamiliar and Mark doesn't know where things are just yet. He looks to Jackson for help and sees his puppy eyes out in full force. "I'm hurt."

"You're an adequate teddy bear, I can't be a judge of how comfortable you are until we test the theory out." The last thing Mark takes out is a tight rolled pouch and unfurls his own knife set that cost a small fortune but worth it; the handles shine in the light and Mark slaps away Jackson's hand before he gets remotely close to any of them. "Be careful, it'll be my fault if you die, and I don't have enough ingredients to make you into a meal to hide the body."

"Someone watches too much Hannibal." Jackson fishes his phone out of his back pocket, still leaning in Mark's space and messing with something. "What music do you like?"

Mark hesitates to answer - so much of the music he listens to overlaps with his ex and separating her from the songs has been a year long struggle. He's rediscovering songs that used to pull at the corners of his heart but now leave a sense of aching for something better, something new instead. "Look up The Hush Sound, put on anything from Like Vines."

"Back in Hong Kong we got some American music growing up. The big stuff, like Michael Jackson and Britney but I didn't know half of the songs Namjoon and his friends talked about. I felt a little out of the loop when they talked about all these western singers that I didn't know about until he filled me in." The song carries on in the background and piano rock fills the silence. 

"Oh?" Mark turns and leans on his elbows instead; when Jackson talks about serious things his expression tightens up. "So, do you want me to make you like, a mixtape or a cd or something of stuff I like? I know those terms are dated and all, but. You can upload it to your computer or just hang onto it." There's an abandoned cd in Mark's car, a gift from his ex of songs he still can't touch just yet. It all comes in time is what Jinyoung says. "If that's too old fashioned just be honest."

"You'd do that?" They still have to cook today and Jackson hasn't even answered his question of if he's going out tonight or not. "I'd love it."

 

Command of the music is passed to Mark and it's an invasion of privacy to handle Jackson's phone, or at least the nagging thought in his head believes so. "What are we making today?" Jackson practically bounces on the balls of his feet. "I already washed my hands, before you ask."

Mark has never been a good teacher. He'll try today, and the next time, and the times after that as long as it means Jackson looks at him like he's infallible. "You mentioned being homesick, so I hope I don't ruin chicken soup for you." Comfort food, Mark can do that well. It's not hard but Mark had plans to teach Jackson how to properly cut vegetables and not lose a finger. "It's the wrong season for it, I'm aware."

"As long as it smells remotely like home, you don't have to be sorry." Jackson's lock screen is a picture of his parents wearing matching smiles with their arms around their son. His dad has the same face, same nose. He looks like his heart is going to burst and Mark feels obligated to visit his own parents since it's been a few days. It puts a whole new layer upon why Jackson asked and is appreciative of Mark's gesture. "Come on, let's get started and we'll meet the others at the pier tonight." 

"Get my knife set, I'll show you how I learned to cut properly." Mark practically raided the vegetable section of the Asian market before coming over, throwing a little bit of everything in his basket and feeling out of place in his own right. His grasp of mandarin slipped when he started grade school and only understands pieces of it now while Jackson grew up caught between cultures in an awkward time period. "Wash the greens and the carrots too, it's easier to use the kitchen island for this part."

The routine monotony of separating bok choy and pulling cabbage leaves away from the stem helps Mark settle into a rhythm and he's jostled out of his comfortable rhythm when Jackson taps him on the shoulder. "Now what? You were in your zone and it looked cute." Mark stops and it's only for a few seconds, short enough that it goes unnoticed but long enough for the cute comment to sink in. "I didn't want to interrupt you."

"Take this knife," And it's one of the less sharp ones, good for beginners and professionals alike. "For the mushrooms, cut the stems off and keep your fingers away from the blade." The stem comes away with one clean motion, landing pitifully on the counter. "And then lay it flat and cut them into slices. They don't have to be perfect but close enough is just fine, it's your first dish." Mark might up the challenges with later but for now he's going easy on Jackson and on himself. This isn't a race or a contest. 

Mark doesn't have to explain anything twice to Jackson - he's a quick learner and the mushrooms sit in a neat little pile where he's prepared them. Mark handles the cauliflower and cabbage to speed up the process because he neglected to put the broth on to boil earlier. "Do you have a stockpot? Or anything big like that?"

In the short time Jackson's gone off looking for one Mark feels a little emptier without the other near him. It's just a silly crush, a spark of infatuation after being loveless for so long that he hopes passes once he learns the other's gross habits and ugly secrets. "A-ha! Found it!" Jackson returns triumphantly; the stockpot still has the plastic seal on it. "How much chicken stock?" 

"Put in the whole thing, leftovers never killed anyone." Jackson shrugs and follows Mark's orders; it means he'll have something to come home to besides an empty apartment. "Do you want me to handle the chicken?"

"...yes." 

 

"Did you go to school for this like Seokjin did?" Jackson watches the chicken broth come to a boil and Mark bites his tongue about a watched pot never boiling; he's certain that idiom only exists in English. 

"No, I started cooking with my mom as a kid and then as a busboy, worked up to a line cook and learned stuff from there. School in general isn't my thing." He isn't ashamed of not going to school beyond high school and hopes Jackson doesn't think differently of him because of it. "I might go back, but."

"But what?" Jackson's all eyes and ears on him now. "I don't care that you didn't go to college, in case you were wondering. It's great that you're doing what you love and you seem happy when you're cooking." 

"I'd have to take less hours at the restaurant if I went back to school and I can't afford rent without the hours." Mark's parents are well off and he relied on them for initial costs like the security deposit, pinch repairs on his car, and the occasional unexpected surprise. But he doesn't lean on them for everything and takes pride in it. "Jinyoung has his own loans to pay off so he needs a roommate."

"Then don't push yourself if you don't want to. School or not, I think you're a good teacher."

Mark drops everything into the pot except for the chicken pieces until the vegetables are soft and drops the heat. "How does it smell so far?"

"I love it." 

"Like your mom's soup?" 

"No, it smells like _yours_. I can't wait to try it." Usually Mark would push away people when the get handsy with him, touching too much or assuming he's okay with contact because he didn't say otherwise. Jackson is the exception to every rue Mark established, his fingers curling around his biceps when he stands behind him and hides his face. "How much longer?"

"Soon, trust your nose to tell you when it's done."

 

Mark's sense of smell is better than any kitchen timer, he turns the heat off just as it's nearly done and the residual heat cooks the soup off. "The least I can do is serve it since you brought everything over." 

"Next time we're going shopping together, it's a lesson in patience." Mark adds salt and pepper to the soup bowls before Jackson ladles in a serving to each. "Go ahead, taste it."

"We need to get married so you can cook for me all the time." The exclamation is so ridiculous that all Mark can do is laugh it off even if it makes him wonder how serious Jackson was when he said it. The only time Jackson doesn't talk is when he's eating and he doesn't miss a drop of it, debating on going back for seconds. The butterflies filling up Mark's stomach leaves little room for any food and he's full by seeing Jackson happy; he thinks he won't need to eat ever again.

"Save room for carnival food, there's a churro cart." Cleaning up can wait. Jackson definitely does (not) squeal with joy at that fact.

 

They're only a few minutes late and there's a small group waiting by the ticket booth; Namjoon waves them down and teases them about being late while they're still waiting on a few people. "The girls are coming tonight, Hoseok is gonna be thrilled." 

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here!" 

"Why? Is Momo coming too?" Mark is somewhat aware of the Hoseok-Momo setup or lack thereof and admires his bravery from a distance while Jackson is all about helping Hoseok get together with her. "I think Jihyo and Dahyun replied to the group message."

"They're all arriving in a loud, giggly squad and we're going to get ignored or have to pretend to be someone's brother again. Who's it this time?" Namjoon volunteers to be a fake sibling or boyfriend in case one of the girls asks and Hoseok trips over his words, tries to say "I volunteer!" when he sees Sana first, her hand linked with Momo's. 

Taehyung paces back and forth, sick of standing around while the sun threatens to set before the whole group is there. "Do we want to wait for Jimin and Yoongi or just say fuck it?" 

"They can handle it, let's go inside!" In typical Seokjin fashion he barrels in first, leaves Namjoon in the dust and blazes the trail for the others to meander on while he goes directly to the skee ball table. Mark always lingers towards the back of the group, even behind Jackson who slows down so Mark isn't left alone.

"Did I tell you I'm afraid of roller coasters?" Mark shakes his head no; at first glance it seemed out of place for someone that looks like Jackson to be afraid of roller coasters but it's adorably endearing in a way. "You learn new things about me every day."

"I'm afraid of bugs." He counters with his own fact about himself. Sand-littered wood crunches under their feet as they walk in tandem and narrowly avoid crashing into people. "My older sisters used to put fake spiders in my bed and scare me with them."

"You have sisters?" They're completely separate from the group now and veering in the direction of a churro cart with a decent sized line. More time to talk. "Are they nice?"

"Both of them are, yeah. And a younger brother." The noise of the carnival goers around them buzzes in their ears and it's hard to hear without getting close; the butterflies that halted his appetite earlier today are back and threaten to ruin his churro experience but Mark'll be damned if that happens. "What about you?"

"My one brother lives in Australia. I have a niece but I haven't met her yet." Mark wants to comfort Jackson somehow but he can't. "He sends me pictures and she tries to say my name but she's still learning how to talk."

"Tell me more about her later when I can hear you better." Mark has to lean in close and nearly yell into the other's ear and he smells cologne that clogs his senses and refuses to leave until he gets to smell it again in a different setting. Jackson's hand settles on Mark's waist over the shirt he picked up at his apartment when he dropped off his knives and changed into something different to stabilize him; the heat from Jackson's palm burns into Mark's skin to counter the chill that settles in the air after the sun went down and brought the temperature with it. "Try and win me a teddy bear tonight."

"You're on."

 

Somewhere off in another part of the carnival, Sana and Momo tag along with Taehyung and Hoseok. Taehyung is a freak of nature and able to win three games of ring toss while Hoseok loses five. "Sana, what's your favorite animal?"

"I like sharks!" And Taehyung is a little taken aback to say the least but finds it cute, so he asks for the medium sized shark plushie and gives it to her. He's known her for all of twenty minutes and made more progress with her than Hoseok has with Momo in _months_ with a single stuffed animal. "It's so cute, thank you."

Hoseok groans and cuts his losses at the ring toss game, falling to the ground grasping the counter, flecked with chipped paint. "Sana's never dated anyone before, she likes stuff like this," Momo chimes in. "She's a little shy too, so I think having more friends might be good for her."

"Yeah?" He recovers immediately when Momo pats his back in consolation, finding the strength to keep going on. "Tae's a good kid too. Not gay, either, like most of my friends." 

"Can I tell you something?" Momo's honey-blonde hair swishes in its ponytail when she leads him away from Sana who's very interested in what Taehyung has to say. Hoseok thought losing ring toss was a disaster but it's actually a blessing in disguise. "I'm kind of glad you're not gay."

"I didn't say that." Sana tucks her hair behind her ear and pretends to make the shark eat Taehyung; he smiles his wide boxy smile at her and offers to buy her a drink. Hoseok can't look away from the sight, it's eerily similar Namjoon and Seokjin before they got together. "I sa-"

"Those two will be fine, trust me, I live with Sana and she's tougher than she looks." Momo wraps her deceptively soft hand around Hoseok's and tugs him back up on his feet after he was done moping. "Let me treat you to an ice cream cone?"

"And then we can ride the ferris wheel?"

"I'm afraid of height, but it gives me an excuse to sit next to you." 

 

"You threw _a laptop_ at him? And broke an air conditioner too?" Jackson can't contain his laughter at Mark's story; they're walking hand in hand now and finished their churros a long time ago, using the excuse of not wanting to get separated to justify the vice grip on each other even though the crowd thinned out earlier. "Mark, I can't believe that!"

"I was great at starting fights and not so great at finishing them. Bam got over the laptop throwing and now we're like brothers." Mark recalls Bambam being this skinny little freshman and now he's all grown up and looks like a damn supermodel - the laptop incident is just another thing to laugh about when he's famous. "I never got hurt from fights, I get hurt at work more than anything."

Conversation doesn't feel forced or unnecessary with Jackson, words easily tumble out of his mouth like never before. It stirs up a terrifyingly familiar feeling in his gut that's too reminiscent of his last relationship and how it started out exactly like this. Green eyes are exchanged for brown and Mark tries to quash the anxiety by telling himself it's all in the past. "Mark? Hello?"

"What?" 

"You were staring off into space again." Jackson's eyes haven't wandered once, haven't strayed away from Mark since they arrived. "Do you wanna go home?" They're nowhere near the entrance, practically at the end of the lot but they've done a lot tonight besides talk. 

"Yeah, I do." Mark chews on his lower lip, filters out the noise around them that's becoming more deafening; it's hard to focus and his chest feels tight when he debates staying out late longer. He knows what it means and feels bad that his emotions have ruined the night.

"Sorry." When they get back to the car he sits in the drivers seat and just breathes in and out, deep breathes that ground him equally as much as Jackson rubbing his back and keeping a hand on his knee to get his heart rate back to normal. In this situation most people would back away and let him work it out on his own but Jackson isn't like that and Mark knew from day one when they met that he was different.

"Your pulse is better, how are you feeling?" Jackson is too good for Mark to tease the idea of a relationship with but he wants it, wants it so bad he doesn't know how to approach the idea. He's not like Seokjin who danced in circles around Namjoon until one of them snapped, not like Jinyoung who had Jaebum wrapped around his finger right off the bat. This is a whole new territory that Mark doesn't know what to expect in and it's terrifying. "Do you want me to drive?" Jackson makes him want to settle down, to take days off and lay in bed together until they have to get up, makes him want to challenge himself and try new things. His entire dating history has been picking safe girls and denying the other part of his identity his friends openly embrace.

Change isn't always a bad thing. If Jackson uprooted his life twice to come here then Mark can do anything.

He inhales and exhales one last time and gets out of his head. "I'm alright, I think. Kinda upset that neither of us won a bear." He laughs and it's all deflection, a hollow distraction from the muted ending to what was supposed to be a good night. 

"I'll win you a dozen teddy bears next time." 

 

("So..." Namjoon leads Seokjin away from the group and they blow past the skee ball, making a beeline for the funnel cake stand. "Mark?"

"What about him? He's our friend." 

"Him and Jackson. I think it'll happen. I don't know if I'm right just yet." Seokjin stuffs a piece of funnel cake into Namjoon's mouth and a piece into his right after; their kisses taste like powdered sugar and greasy dough but Seokjin can't get enough of them. 

"Let me work my magic with Mark, we'll see. You were right about Yoongi and Jimin, after all.")


	3. third course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Mark claps Jaebum on the shoulder and leads him over to the back couches where he's already sitting with Jackson, laughing over something on his Twitter feed and his hand is outstretched as if to pull him back into their private little bubble. Jinyoung cocks an eyebrow and exchanges a knowing look with Jaebum, speaking in their nonverbal language. “Looking sharp tonight, bossman. You should wear that leather jacket to work more often.” Mark wouldn't ever flirt with Jaebum unless Jinyoung asked to make him jealous; he's been on the receiving end of the result, them fucking in Jinyoung's room loud enough to rock the foundation and there's only so much he can handle in one lifetime. “What product is in your hair?” Some of it sticks out of place, finger tracks in nearly-black hair and matching tackiness lingering on Jinyoung's dominant hand."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this chapter is late ;_; i've been slowly dying from allergies since thursday and i couldn't breathe very well last night so i just kinda laid in bed and did..nothing..
> 
> but here it is! better late than not at all <3

It's a weekly event now that Mark shouldn’t look forward to as much as he does - cook on Saturday afternoon and if plans come up they go out at night. Jackson's apartment is a getaway from everything weighing Mark down, even if Jackson is adorably clueless and squeamish when it comes to cooking. It's cute, Mark thinks, when Jackson's tongue peeks out a little (really similar to a puppy, if he has to make a comparison and he's more of a dog person anyway) when he's concentrating. 

"You're early!" The door was left unlocked and Mark lets himself in at this point, leaving his shoes by the door like he always does. It's like Mark goes into autopilot as soon as he crosses over the wood floor and into a tile kitchen. "I'm sorry, I was in the shower and got up late. I even skipped my morning run today, can you believe it?" Mark can't believe it, 'it' being Jackson shirtless with messy hair like something out of a men's fitness magazine that women buy for the pictures. He forgets his mother's lectures of it being rude to stare and stares, eyes roaming up and down Jackson's body shamelessly. "Hello? Anyone home?"

"S-sorry. Thinking again." Mark lifts his head up and Jackson unfortunately has a shirt on. "So, you skipped your run? Are you feeling alright?" Maybe they'll go easy on today's lesson. 

"My mom wanted to talk and she could only call at like, two am here. I ended up staying on the phone until five or six." Ouch. 

"She's good though, right? One day of bad sleep is worth it to see her again." The shopping list is folded neatly in Mark's back pocket and he's keeping true to his word of going shopping today so Jackson knows what to look for. "We're going to the grocery store today, hurry up and get ready."

"Only if you let me push the shopping cart and get me chocolate at the checkout line." 

"You're such a child sometimes." Mark sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry at Jackson. "But I like it." 

 

Navigating the grocery store is equal parts chaos and equal parts dodging small children and their parents on cell phones. "What do we need?" There's no real need for a full shopping cart but Jackson takes one anyway. 

"Fennel, red onion, radishes, and spring mix or baby greens. Whichever. And shallot. We can find all of that in the produce section." A runaway toddler gets scooped up by its parent and Mark doesn't mind, asking the mom mundane questions and seeing Jackson absolutely melt in front of the toddler. 

"She's the same age as my niece!" So maybe they're sidetracked again but it's worth it to see Jackson fawn over the kid until the mom says they need to go, 

"Aimee, right?" Mark remembers his niece's name, how she babbles in baby mandarin and he only sees updates of her in pictures. 

"Yeah, I can't believe you remembered that." 

"I remember everything you tell me."

 

The recipe serves eight and when they're all done shopping Jackson pushes in front of Mark so he can pay before he has a chance to stop him. "How chivalrous of you, Jackson." Mark giggles.

"Only the best for my Mark," The cashier rolls her eyes, assuming they're already some kind of dating because Mark sneaks a candy bar in with the other groceries. "I saw that."

"You said you wanted chocolate back at the apartment, didn't you?" 

"Then you pay for it." 

"Fine."

Mark does, in fact, pay for the candy bar and he breaks a five dollar bill because he's out of quarters. It's a nuisance to him to carry excess change around but Jackson seems happy with his choice in dark chocolate and some of it sticks to his fingers - he licks it off without a care for Mark's sanity and the idea of Jackson licking something else clean. The steering wheel takes the brunt of Mark's stress.

 

"Home sweet home!" Jackson kicks the door open and carries the one bag in his hand. He's not even trying to look good and he does, if Mark could whine about it out loud then he would. "Get the recipe out, I'm ready to go."

"What happened to the sleepyhead this afternoon?" 

"I'm solar powered, don't you know?" 

"If you're solar powered then I'm powered by the moon."

Jackson washes his hands and soap bubbles up in a lather and over the running water he makes a sailor moon comment. "Where's your talking cat then? I won't believe it until I see you transform right here in my kitchen."

Today's lesson is easy, it's more of a filler and another opportunity to teach knife skills than anything really worthwhile. "Here, like this." Instead of standing in front of Jackson like he did last week, he goes behind the other and lays his hand over Jackson's to keep the cuts even. "Just, don't rush through it. Just because Jin and I make it look easy doesn't mean it is." His hands shake uncharacteristically; he does this for work nearly every day and he knows it's because of Jackson. 

"Once I get good at this I'm coming for your jobs."

"Tell me when that happens, I'll be waiting." 

 

Just because they made a salad doesn't mean they'll eat healthy today. "Pizza today? I'm buying." Mark's ready to dial pizza hut and confuse the poor delivery guy when it's a different address but Jackson's dialing before he can.

"If you get extra cheese and stuffed crust I'm down for it." 

"I want half pepperoni and sausage too." Jackson bumps into Mark's shoulder with his own, picking the radish slices out of the salad and crunching on it. 

 

Between the pizza delivery and the loud group chat message that's less of a suggestion and more of a command for as many people as possible to go out tonight Jackson shuffles through Netflix until Mark snatches the remote and picks something for him. "Stranger Things! I've been meaning to watch this."

"Yeah?" Mark flops on the couch and stretches out; he could nap here all day. "It's good, Jinyoung and I started it together."

"Don't spoil anything, just hit play. I heard this is scary." 

"Then cling to me when it gets scary, I don't mind." Mark sits up on the couch and Jackson lays on his back, giving Mark the puppy eyes until he caves and lets Jackson use his lap as a pillow. It's reminiscent of his ex girlfriend doing the same and Mark combing his fingers through her hair until she fell asleep. He doesn't realize he's doing it again until Jackson says something, a content expression on his face. "Sorry, I'll stop."

"No, keep going, I like it." 

The only thing that jostles them out of their fake domestic trance is the delivery guy ringing the door bell - Jackson jumps up to pay and Mark would stop him from paying for the second time if he didn't need the pillow on his lap to preserve his dignity. 

 

It's not that Mark dislikes going out; he likes it when the company is good and he has a way to get home after he's had enough. That's something his friends have had to unlearn about him even after years of knowing him.

He's grateful for Lyft and the drivers that don't ask questions and a quiet apartment that welcomes him back when he's had his fill. Someone to come back to (that isn't Jinyoung, as much as Mark wants him to be enough) would be nice. But he's not going to push an issue that doesn't even exist. So it's another weekend out and Mark musters up the energy to go, powered by Jackson (who's been dubbed a Vitamin by everyone they know and has to fight Hoseok for the title) and extra cheesy pizza. 

“Five dollar cover charge tonight!” Jimin likes the cheap cover fee at the door and even cheaper drinks - Friday nights at the club are usually full price everything but the monthly half price night brings everyone in, but not everyone stays, and that's what the bar relies on. 

Tonight Jaebum shows up and Jinyoung does too, both of them dressed up like they own the place. It just so happens that the club tends to attract a less heterosexual crowd but it's not outright stated - and usually those who notice aren't bothered if someone flirts with them. Jaebum isn't out to any family yet and he has to be hush about his relationship with Jinyoung until his parents come around. Tonight he doesn't have to worry as much, not with their friends to keep the atmosphere light.

Mark claps Jaebum on the shoulder and leads him over to the back couches where he's already sitting with Jackson, laughing over something on his Twitter feed and his hand is outstretched as if to pull him back into their private little bubble. Jinyoung cocks an eyebrow and exchanges a knowing look with Jaebum, speaking in their nonverbal language. “Looking sharp tonight, bossman. You should wear that leather jacket to work more often.” Mark wouldn't ever flirt with Jaebum unless Jinyoung asked to make him jealous; he's been on the receiving end of the result, them fucking in Jinyoung's room loud enough to rock the foundation and there's only so much he can handle in one lifetime. “What product is in your hair?” Some of it sticks out of place, finger tracks in nearly-black hair and matching tackiness lingering on Jinyoung's dominant hand. 

“Jinyoungie styled it, ask him.” It's slicked back and he's dressed to kill, a vice grip on Jinyoung's side because they've done this before - guys approaching Jinyoung and calling him all sorts of sweet names as if to try and get him away from Jaebum. Jinyoung isn't stupid either, he likes the thrill of riling up Jaebum until his well managed temper flares up. “Be safe tonight guys,” Jinyoung waves at Mark and Jackson, mischief on his face as they go to the bar to loiter and chat with the bartender before raising hell on the dance floor. Mark doesn't get between them; their time together is important and god only knows teaching children makes Jinyoung go a little crazy sometimes. “And text me if you're going back so we know to be quiet.”

Seokjin cackles and it's hard not to stare when Jinyoung walks away, even Jackson steals a glance before his eyes settle back on Mark's profile view. Yoongi notices how Mark finds everything Jackson shows him funny when they should be out on the floor, a gym-worn hand settling too high on Mark's thigh for it to be accidental. 

It's not like the club is really busy; it's still early in the night and the rest of their crew trickles in a few at a time. The arrival of the maknae triad brings the party and Mark can't help but gawk at how Bambam’s pants are so tight they look painted on and Yugyeom is leading Jungkook to the bar with their pinkies linked together. “Are they together?” Yoongi leans over and asks, sipping on a rum and coke while Jimin is off dancing with Taehyung and will be until one of them get a cramp. “Could have sworn he's with the other one.” 

Seokjin shrugs. “Maybe they don't want to get separated. It happens.” Namjoon is deep in conversation with Jinyoung about a possible opening at a school nearby. “What makes you thi- _oh_.”

Bambam meanders to a spot he can watch from and everyone else does too to peek at the mating ritual happening on the dance floor. He looks a little smug and a little proud, like a fashionable voyeur in a choker with a secret bigger than Mark's parents house. Jungkook is latched onto the other's neck and Yugyeom’s mouth is up against his ear, saying something that makes him squirm and rock harder to the beat against yugyeom’s thigh. They're anonymous in the crowd as far as they believed. 

Jaebum is a little proud of how Yugyeom is behaving right now, at least he's keeping it PG-13 and hasn't dropped to the ground yet to deliver the finishing blow. “Like father, like son. But he can't beat the original.” He winks and Jinyoung groans, rolls his eyes.

Youngjae howls from laughter and the situation is a little unclear but it's a good sign for everyone else to get up and dance too. (Namjoon is probably safer sitting down and Seokjin is fine with that. He's feeling his age next to the kids that can go all night.) 

“Wanna dance?” It isn't Jackson asking Mark to dance even when Jackson is right next to him and, well, is giving off boyfriend vibes. “Will he mind?”

The guy isn't bad looking and Mark says yes even though his gut feeling says no. “Jackson, it's fine. I won't be long.” The guy's grip on Mark's hand is too harsh and that doesn't change on the floor when there's barely any space to breathe between them. “Your boyfriend doesn't mind that I borrowed you? He looked pissed off at me right now.” 

He doesn't need to see to feel the glare boring a hole into the guy's head or how Jackson's usual composure is cracking and it gives way to something Mark's never seen before: jealousy. 

“He's not my boyfriend.” And Mark doesn't pay any mind to the lack of space now, puts his hands on shoulders that aren't built like Jackson's and moves with the beat. “My name is Mark.”

“Ryan. Remember it.” Ryan puts a hand on Mark's hip and it threatens to creep under his shirt. “If you want to come home with me tonight you should remember it.” There's a point when strangers go from tolerable to uncomfortable and from across the way Jackson knows Mark has had enough when his posture stiffens and he struggles to break away from Ryan’s grip - he's had enough and the anxiety creeps in again. Jackson doesn't intend to ruin Mark's chance with that guy, it might turn out alright in the end once the nerves pass but he should be the one in his place. 

He politely shoves through the crowd and yanks Mark away like his very life depends on it. He'll apologize later if it leaves a bruise.

“I think Jin is asking for you.” Ryan is irritated because his moment is over and the not-boyfriend ruined it all. “Sorry about interrupting you guys.” (He isn’t sorry. He knows it’s bad karma to feel a little smug when The Guy stomps away impetuously and finds his next prey for the night.) "Sorry about that."

Mark doesn't say thank you but asks Jackson to dance instead. “I know Jin didn't need me, thank you for the excuse to get away.” 

“Anything for you.” Mark shivers even though it's warm in the building. “So, dance?” 

“Y-Yeah.” Mark feels like he's burning up at the barest hint of contact over clothing and it lights a spark in him that he can't ignore. “Jackson, have you been clubbing before?”

There’s a little hesitation before Jackson answers and it’s not a bad thing if he’s never been before, Mark doesn’t judge. “Namjoon brought me once, I didn't know how to tell the girls that I'm,” Mark wants Jackson's hands on him because he can blame the fact it's a club for his behavior if anyone asks. Plenty of friends dance together and have a pesudo-homoerotic relationship like Jimin and Taehyung (but Yoongi and the others will say they're a weird exception to that, Taehyung being very straight and Jimin being very not straight.) “Gay.”

“You say that like it's a bad thing.” Mark feels relief. And fear, because there's tension between them now as Jackson doesn't want to let go, refuses to give Mark a chance to change the tempo of their grinding and he gives in because he's losing this ongoing fight with himself. “It isn't a bad thing, I like guys too.” 

“You do?” They'll deal with the fallout of their words after the fact when their faces aren't obscured by colored lightning and shadows. Jackson is incredibly warm, stripped down to a t shirt and loosely styled hair that Mark wants to run his fingers through and tug; the heat coming off his skin warms Mark up and he needs more of it, runs his hands down Jackson's chest as if to strip him even further. He feels abs under that t-shirt and gets dizzy from the idea of seeing it for himself again in a different context. “Fuck, you're so hot.”

“So are you.” Their foreheads bump together and they're tacky from sweat. “Jackson, it's a different song.”

“So? Pretend it's just us.” Mark's heart clenches and hangs into those words and he sees nothing but Jackson, feels nothing but his heart beating under his palm. The animalistic need to claim Jackson right there wells up inside Mark and it's too soon to ruin what they've built up over time. All good things to those who wait.

The others might be watching but Mark doesn't care. (In all honesty, the others aren't watching but knew this would happen as soon as those two were left alone. “It's only a matter of time,” Namjoon writes everyone's names on a napkin and their guess as to when Mark and Jackson will finally kiss, starting a betting pool.)

 

It feels like hours pass (in reality it's been five minutes at most) but the song finally comes to an end and the DJ announces he's taking a short break before starting the next set. Mark pulls off Jackson enough to and he's still tethered to Jackson's body when the embarrassment creeps in. “I didn't know you could move like that, I've only seen you dance in my kitchen.”

“It happens sometimes.” The smell of Jackson's cologne sticks to Mark's clothes. It's strangely intimate despite them not being intimate and they don't make any attempts to separate before they hear Jimin getting their attention.

“Hey, look at Hoseok over there!” Jimin knows what an indoor voice is but chooses not to use it, not when he's got.

It's not only Hoseok. it's him, Momo, Yugyeom, and Jungkook putting everyone to shame with their combined dancing skills while not feeling any shame about how good they are. Even Bambam “God, they make me look like a loser.” Mark agrees with Youngjae.

Hoseok and Momo seemed to have already gravitated towards each other, their bodies fitting together like freakishly in shape puzzle pieces. The sight is ridiculously attractive, Momo in a fishnet bodysuit under a pair of shorts and a crop top and Hoseok can't stop staring at the way her spine bends and she mimics whatever he does, adding her own flair. They're attracting a lot of attention. 

Jihyo and Dahyun are still nursing injuries so they're keeping the others company on the couch. “How long until they finally fuck?” Taehyung asks, on his second drink. His filter is gone and Yoongi laughs at the straightforwardness of it. “Mina, Sana, what do you know?” The girls came in a group of five earlier that evening and Dahyun is too busy firing back jokes at Seokjin while Jihyo discusses music with Yoongi to answer. (Yoongi took Jihyo and Dahyun in like little sisters, keeping a protective watch over them and fostering Jihyo’s singing voice between shifts at work.)

“She's been texting him a lot back at home, even on her days where she has classes. And they work together, so I think it'll be soon.” Sana swirls her mojito around and her gaze drifts to Taehyung. “Tae and I hang out now too because Momo needs an excuse to get to know him, and he makes Tae tag along so it's not weird.”

“Is that what you kids call it now?” Mark believes men and women can be friends but when one domino threatens to fall so do the rest. “I just struggle with flirting until someone picks up on it.” 

“Why can't they just be confused about their feelings and assume the other isn't interested? Why does Hoseok get it easy?” 

“Because Hoseok is straight, Joonie. He doesn't have to play the “is he gay or not?” game like most of us here.” Seokjin really adores how deep Namjoon thinks and how much he looks out for his friends but sometimes the point goes right over his head. “Mark, you have it a little easier liking both, you know girls are always interested.”

“Yeah, god knows Momo is ready to take the leap.” Jimin peeks over the rail and the pair is practically fused together. “Christ, Yugyeom needs a chastity belt.”

(Mina and Youngjae took the opportunity to slip out and only Mark and Sana caught their subtle nod before taking a walk around the city.) “Our boss isn't exactly a saint either,” Jinyoung is even more shameless about showing off what belongs to him and Jaebum reciprocates without any hesitation as if to agree. “I can't wait to go to work and see him all stuffy and boring again.”

Mark knows better than to incriminate his boss even deeper as his valued employees spy on him mauling Jinyoung's throat like a starved animal. It's what Mark wants to do with Jackson, what Jaebum doesn't have the freedom to do with Jinyoung.

Mark doesn't break his no drinking policy tonight no matter how hard the group goads him to get at least a beer to loosen up. “Later, I just want to dance one more time and then I think I'm going home.”

“Gross, domesticity.” Jimin sticks his tongue out at Jackson and plays with Yoongi’s feet under the table. 

Mark doesn't need to drink when he's got Jackson near him and the bass vibrates off the walls and in his ears.

 

 

Mark's waiting for Jackson to get off work early - he covered someone on the opening shift and braved the breakfast rush, so he was up too early and is going in to help Seokjin close tonight. Otherwise, he's free. Jackson only has a few clients so they're going exploring later. “How did you meet Yoongi in the first place?” Jimin loves retelling the story over and over until yoongi blushes at the tips of his ears and gets shy. “he's not exactly the uh, gym type.”

Jimin takes a breath and lays the tablet down. “He's been best friends with Hoseok since grade school, kind of like me and Tae, right? Well, I danced with Hoseok for a few years and Yoongi was dating some older girl, the long distance one, for a long time. Hoseok came into the studio one day and mentioned how Yoongi got dumped over FaceTime and he was torn up about it and he asked me to try and make him feel better or distract him.” 

Mark can't imagine Yoongi upset but lets Jimin go on anyway; the latter's face drops more as the story continues. “Hoseok brought him around to the studio a lot, for like six months probably?” Jimin gesticulates and waves at clients with the same poise that he dances with. “And let him write lyrics or whatever he does in his notebooks, I didn't ask and he didn't say,” He pauses to swipe people in, inhaling again. “So he'd offer to buy snacks or water for us as a thank you more often than not. I found it kind of endearing when he acted more like my brother than someone I wanted to date until we decided things had to change.”

“But you waited until he was alright with dating again, right? Rushing into stuff scares me.” Jackson is waiting for Mark to be done listening to Jimin's story, big brown eyes fixated on Mark. Mark doesn't notice him. “I had an ex that kind of messed me up, she's off doing god knows what but I don't know if I'm ready again or not. Jinyoung keeps saying it's been enough time and I'm just procrastinating."

“When he asked me if he could kiss me in a target parking lot then I knew I wasn't his little brother anymore. It'll happen in time. Maybe even sooner than you think.” Jimin winks at Jackson with that comment, ushering them out the door before their boss can ask Jackson to stay longer. 

Once they're out, Jimin changes the secret group chat name to _Operation Markson_ and is met with unanimous approval. He switches his attention to the other betting pool the group set up that night at the club. "Hey, Momo. How are you today?"

She's caught off guard and her high ponytail bobs up and down as she thinks of an answer. "A little tired, honestly. Hoseok snores in his sleep, did you know that?"

"Yeah, it was pretty bad last night. Tae said you weren't at your apartment last night either." Momo knows she's been caught and blushes instead, backed against a metaphorical wall. "I mean, that's all I heard."

"I got out of class late and asked Hoseok if we could get dinner, don't get any ideas." Oh, there are plenty of ideas. "Mina's been texting Youngjae, try gossiping about that instead of me. It's not like we're hiding from our feelings unlike some people."


	4. palate cleanser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back again! another week and every fic needs a beach episode, right?
> 
> right.
> 
> have a beach chapter. no summary for you this week (but please leave me lots of kudos and comments, please? i appreciate those!)

It’s warm enough to go to the beach without it being too crowded - the end of the season is the best time to go, anyway, nearing Labor Day when all the kids go back to school and the rowdy crew can take up half of the sand and make noise. They pile into four cars, thirteen people and all of the blankets, towels, coolers and umbrellas needed divided evenly between the cars.

Youngjae was supposed to come along but he's out with a fever and it adds a mild tinge of disappointment to the day for Jinyoung despite the atmosphere; he takes the news easier than Jaebum who has a soft spot for the kid and blames it on his workload and willingness to help everyone to the point of exhaustion. Mark would argue that Jackson has that trait too, he sees it in how Jackson can't say no to staying at work longer if it means everyone benefits from it. Miho is safe with the girls, who neglected to join the boys today but don't mind checking up on the puppy and even taking her for a walk in the afternoon. (All of it arranged by Yugyeom so Bam didn't have to lift a finger, even asking Mina to check in on Youngjae so the others can relax.) 

Jaebum, despite having his reputation of being allergic to fun at times, is incredibly relaxed about the fact his friends and dad’s employees are being less than model people right now. He has his own wild streak even though his degrees in business and marketing make him look like a stick in the mud next to Jimin and Taehyung who decide wrestling on the sand is a great start to the day. Yoongi doesn't intervene and pops open his umbrella first, marking his kingdom for the day. Jaebum might challenge one or more of the people here to a dance off later on when it starts to get dark and they start a bonfire, when someone digs the s'mores supplies out of the cooler. He helps Jin pick the best plot of beach to spread out the field of towels and coolers so that there’s enough room for everyone while Namjoon, Jackson, Mark, and Jungkook make half a dozen trips to and from the cars to the beach with the heavier stuff. It's late in the season and Labor Day weekend signifies the end of summer so everyone's taking this last opportunity to cut loose.

The younger members of their friend circle have already started classes again and cling to any remnants of freedom they can get. The older ones don't know what a summer break is anymore and lovingly rip into the younger ones who are already weighed down with the responsibility of school.

Yugyeom is too busy attempting to throw Bambam in the ocean once everything is out of the cars (give or take a few stray flip flops and sun hats) and divided by who's sitting where, for the most part. (It's a little messy and a little chaotic but there's no such thing as fun without a few hitches.) The latter shrieking about his hair getting wet for less than a minute before retaliating and pulling Yugyeom down with him into the slow moving water; they both pop up shivering and Yugyeom steals a wet kiss before catching Bambam around the waist and bringing him back down. If Jungkook wasn’t hauling stuff from the cars per request of Jin, he’d be in the middle of that too.

The weather’s on their side today, enough shade and a slight breeze that even Yoongi goes shirtless for a while despite being put to shame by a handful of his friends’ bodies. Jimin jumps onto his back like a koala and rubs sunblock on Yoongi’s pale skin, cackling about startling him and then apologizing after he's sufficiently covered and smells like it. Mark places the last of the weights on the blanket corners, one cooler specifically labelled “drinks” that some people would be less than pleased to see. Taehyung scoffs and tries to reach in the cooler but gets his hand smacked away.

Mark doesn't do much after everything's set up besides get comfortable on his towel and he loses track of time and falls asleep on Jinyoung’s thigh while he's reading some kind of philosophy book that Namjoon lent him. The gentle motion of waves crashing and muffled conversation in the background is enough for him to let his guard down and fall victim to Jinyoung's voice that lulls him. Mark held onto the belief that he would have been with Jinyoung for more than a half-hearted one night stand attempt before Jaebum crashed into Jinyoung's life and decided to stay. Where they are now is good, though, and they occasionally crack jokes about what could have been but ultimately didn't happen and for the better. Being his best friend is the only thing Mark could ask for, judging by the fondness in Jinyoung's voice when he teases him about Jackson hauling Bambam into the water over his shoulder and the loud cheering that follows when Namjoon gets Jackson from behind.

 

Mark wakes up later to the early afternoon sun and a volleyball game happening further down the beach; Jinyoung is there cheering Jaebum on but rolling his eyes at his boyfriend’s excessively loud whooping every time he scores a point when the ball makes a muted thud into the sand. Jackson’s there too with his shirt off and abs on display, going for a dive if only to peacock even more than he already does at any opportunity. Mark looks away when Jackson looks at him, missing a smile that rivals Hoseok’s in how bright it is. He thinks it's Jackson's way of trying to impress him, besting their friends in a display of dominance and lovingly teasing the rest for not going to the gym as much. The other team consists of Jungkook, Namjoon, Taehyung, and Hoseok, who is admittedly a little more agile than the rest but still somehow losing. "I'm a dancer, I have great endurance!"

"That's not what Momo told me yesterday, Hobi." Hoseok shoves Jimin and Yoongi is stuck between defending his best friend or his better half and ultimately lets them fight it out on their own. "Only brag about endurance when you can back it up."

"I hear you testing that endurance all the time, trust me." 

Jinyoung’s protests of Jaebum showing him affection go ignored when his team wins and Jaebum rushes him, effectively tackling him into the sand and then deciding a dunk in the water is necessary. Along the way Yugyeom ruffles Jinyoung's hair, pinches his cheeks for good measure and Jinyoung threatens bodily harm towards the younger if his limbs weren't trapped. Taehyung stands over Mark where he's laying on Jinyoung's towel and refusing to move. “Wake up sleepy head, your not boyfriend isn't flaunting his abs anymore and you're awful at pretending you weren't staring.” There's a pathetic whine from Mark and Taehyung drags him up into a sitting position. “You two were practically fucking at the club and now you're acting like it never happened. At least Hoseok and Momo did something about it.”

“Why is everybody bringing up the club? It's not like we made out or anything.” Taehyung isn't buying anything Mark says. “I mean, maybe I wanted to that night but I-”

“You said it, not me. The heart wants what the heart wants, Mark. No matter what the mind says otherwise.” It's less of his heart and more of his dick, if he's being honest, but sure. The mind. Taehyung has a point, he's thinking with one of his heads. “Get up and stop napping, there's no fun in pranking you if you're asleep.”

“God, why do I let people younger than me bully me around?” Mark rises to his feet and shakes the pins and needles out of his limbs - his feet still feel numb and he wiggles his toes until he can balance better and not faceplant into the sand. “Go away before I tell Jimin you're abandoning him for Sana.” 

Taehyung scurries away to play frisbee with Jungkook and Mark finds Jimin attempting poorly to get Yoongi to move. He's putting on his best pout and threatening to carry him (and Jimin can carry Yoongi, he’s done it before). “Hi Mark! How’s the plan on seducing Jackson going?” Yoongi chokes on his wine cooler; some of the dark pink liquid comes out of his nose. “Not that I’m looking or anything but he’s got nice triceps.”

“It’s not going anywhere after we went out, it's like he blocked out everything about that night. I don't know how to bring it up. And I'm not trying to seduce him, either.” He’s not entirely sure what he wants as of late, and that’s not the worst thing ever. He struggles to remember one of the quotes Namjoon cited one day at work when it was slow, something about uncertainty leading to clarity when it's unexpected. “How’s your dog?”

Yoongi shoots a thumbs up in Mark’s direction, nose in Jimin’s tablet. There’s a spot of sunblock smudged on his cheeks that Jimin didn’t bother to rub in. “Holly is doing great, stop trying to change the subject.”

 

The drink cooler is half empty by the height of the afternoon when Seokin and Mark start to cook enough burgers for a small army, plus the other sides that were picked up just for the trip. Jin draws a circle in the sand around the grills with his heel and forbids Namjoon from crossing it otherwise he’ll break something or get hurt, swatting at him with a clean spatula. “Go wait with everyone else, Joonie.” 

“Yes dear.” Namjoon takes the heckling and teasing from Jungkook in stride, patting the cheek Seokjin kissed before throwing him out. “Don’t laugh, kid, this is what true love is all about.”

“If love means being whipped, sure.” Cooking has always been their element, where Mark and Seokjin are in sync at all time. On the beach is no different, their friends waiting like they haven't eaten in years. Jungkook throws a look back towards the blanket occupied by Yugyeom and Bambam, enough space for Jungkook and his plate of food.

They run out of burgers and Mark’s free to sit down with two of his own - they're not cold but the cheese isn't as melted as he wants it to be after it sat out while he filled up on sides. He slips back into his head and gets lost there, idly checking his phone for messages but the people he’d be texting are right here. There's a steady stream of posts on Instagram, however, and Mark rewatches the videos of the volleyball match again and again and there's more to come later. “This was a great idea, I didn’t think it was possible to round up this many people. Come splash around in the water with me?” It's Jackson - Mark only finished one burger and he still has another. His stomach rumbles to punctuate the fact.

“You’d be surprised at what Jaebum and Jin are capable of when they get the chance to scheme together, they're scary once an idea forms. I just go along for the ride most of the time and make sure no one gets hurt. Let me finish eating first, I'm starving.” Jackson licks ketchup off his mouth, waits for Mark to finish. If he had a tail it'd be wagging right now. “Just don’t flex too much and make me look bad, jeez.”

“You look fine just the way you are, I just happen to work at a gym and get paid to look good.” There’s a split second of realization that Mark’s life might be in danger when they wade into the water past the rocks and the shore; Jackson is far too close to Mark’s waist, grasping him tight like they’ll get swept away and picking him up bridal style as if he weighs nothing. Everyone back on the beach is either lounging, drinking, or napping under an umbrella and don’t notice the two of them wading further in until the water touches Jackson's thighs and hits Mark's feet that dangle. It's the antithesis of the night club but the same emotions bubble up and threaten to spill out regardless. 

"Yeah, you definitely look good." His eyes roam up and down. He's not even being subtle and Jimin shoots a thumbs up in Mark's direction.

Jimin and Hoseok attempt to have a back handspring contest before Namjoon tries to stop them because puking on the beach isn't fair for the others; Taehyung is eager to record all of it in case Jimin falls on his face and Yoongi is torn between laughing and rushing to his side. 

“Are you wearing contacts?” Jackson’s question is out of the blue as the waves churn and pick up speed. Mark's feet are definitely wet now and Jackson swings him around.

“No.”

“Good.” Mark’s laughter is swallowed by the crashing water as he gets tossed into the oncoming wave in deeper water, tasting salt water and pulling Jackson down with him until they’re both swept up in it together. Mark feels a piece of his self control get washed away with the shoreline. His eyes are closed but he doesn't need to see to know that Jackson's arms are around him and they're resurfacing. 

"You suck! Taking advantage of my trust like that." Mark probably looks like a drowned rat but so does Jackson - his fake blond hair sticks to his head and Mark reaches out to fix it. "I can't believe I fell for you."

There's a double meaning to that statement and Jackson blushes at it; Mark hopes today's awkward moments get washed out to sea. 

 

Night time means bonfire time and Mark likes this part the most for the s’mores. He likes the easy transition of the sun going down that gradually changes the atmosphere from rowdy to relaxed, alcohol buzzing in their bodies and couples settling in pairs while the singles pile together in their own group. Nobody is ever truly left out at the end of the day, not even Hoseok who pouts for a split second about missing Momo and he tries to deny it or Taehyung who accepts the fact that Yoongi gets his best friend’s attention for now. Everyone’s a little quieter and worn out from a day of splashing in the water, donning hoodies and sweatshirts to stave off the chill. 

The remains of sandcastles stand in less than mighty piles and footprints from shell collecting dot the sand. Nobody knows who the footprints belong to anymore when they criss-cross and overlap each other. Cicadas chatter in the background and Mark feels the day coming to an end when exhaustion settles in his joints.

Just as predicted Jaebum challenges Hoseok to a dance off as the sun sets and Yugyeom judges it, declaring neither of them the winner. “It’s because I’m the better dancer here!” he says, shrugging on a long-sleeve shirt while dodging glares. 

“Let’s agree to disagree.” Jinyoung stokes at the fire.

Starting up the bonfire is second nature to Mark; he’s done it thousands of times before he met his ragtag crew and used to hang out with his high school friends. He feeds the embers and when a flame catches it's just a matter of time and enough fuel until it takes over and lights up.

It’s nothing out of the ordinary to pull a sweatshirt over his head now that it's dark; he winces at the uncomfortable crunch of sand between his toes and saltwater residue in his hair like a second skin. “Pass around the goods!” Bambam’s resting against Yugyeom’s shoulder, Jungkook bundled up in Yugyeom’s hoodie and keeping a hand curled around Bambam’s knee. Mark runs his fingers through Jackson's hair and scratches at his nape where it's crisp and freshly shaved; Jackson tips his head to the side to keep it going.

“We can’t smoke on the beach,” Hoseok chimes in, taking a roasting stick and passing the marshmallow bag around. “Maybe next time, kid.” Bambam feigns being upset but changes his mind on it when Jungkook holds a marshmallow in front of him, promptly forgetting why he even felt bad in the first place and accepts the treat in his open mouth. 

Jinyoung’s struck up an animated conversation with Namjoon about the book he was reading earlier, leaving Jaebum to watch the fire while mulling over the fact Youngjae’s sick again and couldn’t make it. Mark finds an empty spot in front of the embers and yawns. His clothes will smell like smoke tonight. 

The crashing waves clash against the shoreline and Mark’s yanked back into reality by Jackson’s hand on his shoulder, asking if he’d like to go for a walk. Shoes are abandoned with the group and the feeling of cool sand between his toes is grounding. They're walking away as Yoongi pulls out his phone and asks Jaebum to sing a verse for something on his and Namjoon's mixtape because they're stuck on a song; Jaebum jumps at the chance and Mark can't help but feel happy for his friends. (Jinyoung practically glows with happiness, his fingers intertwined with Jaebum's in the comfort and privacy of their friends.

Mark goes because Jackson smells like the saltwater, his laundry detergent, and a fire. Because his smile chips away at the remainder of Mark’s defenses. Mark wants to bottle this scent or make a candle of it, fill up his life with something so unbelievably warm that he’d never feel cold again. He has an idea of what this all means, what the last few weeks have all meant. He's not exactly fighting the pull and tug of his heart but he isn't giving in to it either. 

They’re walking too close together, shoulders touching just enough that both of them struggle to avoid making eye contact. “I didn’t tell you how I met Namjoon, did I?”

“A little, when I was teaching you how to hold a knife without cutting your thumb off.”

“Namjoon found me when I first came here from Hong Kong. My english was fine, but I didn’t have friends besides the fencing team, you know? And he asked me if I was lost on campus or if I minded if he sat next to me with those big dimples and everything sticking out. Well.” Mark listens with care. He’s good at that; interpreting Jackson's sighs and the drop of his shoulders. “He let me go to his parent’s house for any holiday, introduced me to half of that group back there for all of undergrad. I wanted to go home so bad for the first year, sometimes I’d call Namjoon at two am wondering if I made the right choice to leave.”

“I think you made the right choice.” His input doesn't really matter here, does it? "I mean. I can't see you being any different in undergrad compared to now."

“We graduated and went off in different directions, he stayed and I went home, but what else is new.” It’s not the most interesting of stories but they’re far away enough from the bonfire that Mark hears the hitch in Jackson’s voice when he talks, like he wants to cry or there's lingering guilt behind those words. “My mom’s health isn’t great and all, so I had to go back home just as I was accepted to my first physical therapy job here since my brother’s in Australia. She needed my help and I had to go. I didn’t call anyone for a while either, Namjoon and his friends thought I abandoned them or something. I still feel bad about it even though they understood.”

“What made you come back?” Jackson is so sensitive, wears his heart on his sleeve and Mark wants to protect him from everything bad in the world. “My parents told me to make something of myself, and who can argue with their parents?” Mark reaches for Jackson’s hand to hold it, squeeze it, do something to reduce the trembling that’s wracking through it down to the fingertip - his touch is light. “My mom’s tough, she let me go twice and I feel like I owe her for everything she’s done for me. I applied for another visa just to see if I'd even be allowed back in and it was just good timing.”

Jackson doesn’t flinch when Mark takes his hand, twining their fingers together and continuing back around to the bonfire after letting the waves nip at their ankles one last time. They avoided coming back to the bonfire long enough for Mark to start shivering. Both of their pulses slow and Mark doesn't mind how close they're walking. “I have my own story but I guess I can tell you later, it's not very pressing right now.”

“I want to listen to everything you have to say, though.” The heavy thud in Mark's chest isn't too audible, he hopes. 

 

When they reach home base again the activity’s died down enough that nobody noticed they were even gone. Jaebum’s cracked a smile at Jinyoung and accepts the remainder of his chocolate square, to the point where his eyes resemble crescents more than anything else. Jimin is pleasantly asleep on Yoongi’s shoulder while Seokjin and Namjoon are packing up with the help of Hoseok, Yugyeom, and Jungkook. The ruckus from the sing along earlier was lively and they really are a ragtag little family at the end of the day. Instead of trying to shake sand off now, they'll deal with it later and then complain about it for weeks. 

Jinyoung tosses water on the bonfire and it sizzles out. Smoke curls up in wispy tendrils into the sky and fades away. 

With the amount of people it’s easier for the drivers to drop them off in group of two or more. Taehyung crashes on Jin and Namjoon’s couch for the night; Hoseok with Jimin and Yoongi, Jungkook, Yugyeom, and Bambam already a unit of three. Jaebum has to go home to check on Youngjae and Jinyoung follows him dutifully (and those two will figure out what to do later), leaving Mark and Jackson to decide what to do since there's only two.

It’s not that Mark is uncomfortable around Jackson to sleep over. It’s more like the opposite, he’s too comfortable to the point where he’d easily slip into bed next to him if Jackson asked nicely, and they haven't known each other very long comparatively to the others. Length of time means nothing when feelings get involved, however. He’s not sure where they stand after today, is all. Or at all. “Do you want me to drop you off at home? It’s not a big deal.”

“I live ten minutes in the other direction.”

“That’s not an answer.” Mark falls asleep in the car when they’re on the way to Jackson’s apartment. His fate is decided.

 

“Mark, hey.” It’s late, so late that Mark blearily rubs his eyes and sees his phone is nearly dead after checking in on Youngjae repeatedly. Nobody except Yugyeom knows that Mina kept him company and nobody needs to know. “I brought you to my place, it was easier than turning around and I'm pretty sure Jinyoung isn't at your place.” Jackson carried him up the stairs, if the fact he’s indoors, his shoes are off, and leaning comfortably against the couch’s arm is any proof. Mark’s face burns pink with embarrassment and arousal over the image of Jackson carrying him like he weighs nothing and he hides it deeper in the pillow. 

“That’s what I told you earlier. And Jaebum still lives at home, so he can't bring Jinyoung there yet.” He’s not in the mood to argue semantics and explain the nuances of his friends' relationship, not when Jackson’s kitchen smells equally familiar and comforting as his own with a scented candle. “I’m fine with the couch.”

“You’re getting my bed, I can survive a night on the couch. Let me get you a towel for a shower and pajamas so you don’t go to sleep with sand and seawater all over you. I'm running laundry too so I'll take care of your stuff if you want.” Mark shivers from the slight chill in Jackson’s apartment as night settles over the suburbs like a thick blanket and the other rushes to close the windows left open before it gets too cold. “I’ll feel bad if you get sick because of me.”

 _It's not fair how selfless you are_ Mark thinks. Jackson's sheets smell good, they smell like him and it's the easiest he's ever become drowsy in years. 

Mark drifts between sleep and awake easily after a shower with the rocking laundry machine in the background; he’s unsure if the soft kisses at his nape and exposed shoulder are real or if they’re just in his head. He knows for sure that being doted on like this is addicting and he lounges in Jackson's bed like a cat. Once he became an adult his parents doted on him less and he only moved out a few years ago when he found Jinyoung’s ad for a roommate. If this is Jackson’s way of wooing him, Mark will take it. “So, what did you want to tell me at the beach earlier?”

“It can wait, we need to sleep.”

_“Good morning.” Mark’s head is cloudy and morning sunlight threatens to ruin their perfect day that hasn’t even begun yet and Jackson’s there by his side still. He's definitely dreaming all of this because the bedroom has both of their personalities mixed in it and Mark's toiletries in the bathroom aren't travel sized._

_It’s 5am; the gym opens at six and Jackson has a client at 7:00. Mark doesn’t have work until later. Their schedules rarely line up but they make it work. “I love your sleeping face” Mark rolls to face Jackson now, stretching his fingers out and getting the stiffness out of his joints and tracing the sharp indents of Jackson’s cheekbones with just the pad of his index finger. “You look so good when you first wake up.”_

_Mark’s spoiled by the attention Jackson gives him. “Why do you have to go to work?”_

_“I’ll be home tonight with dinner waiting for you.”_

 

Jackson’s spooning against Mark’s back when they regain consciousness sometime after ten am; the phantom kisses were in his head but the warmth is there, lingering like an unwelcome guest that he can't kick out in the pit of his stomach. “You smell like me, .” Jackson practically purrs in his ear and tangles their legs tighter together at the ankles when Mark doesn’t push away and instead leans into him. “I think I like it.”

They’re on a precipice of being something but being nothing at the same time - Mark’s feelings are still raw and new and he’s not willing to risk anything in fear of rejection. “I don’t want to leave, it's comfortable here.” His phone is dead but he knows Jinyoung hasn't tried to call and Youngjae has four others that will check up on him. Fuck it.

It doesn't register as a problem when Mark realizes that Jackson sleeps in just basketball shorts (only shorts) and all of that familiar skin is his to appreciate, and he does. He'd like to recreate this in his own bed, maybe, with less clothes and more touching. 

“So then don’t.” There’s a noise akin to a please; some words in Jackson’s native cantonese around them hang heavy like the tones they consist of. The little mandarin that Mark knows sticks to the back of his throat. “Stay here with me and I'll drop you off later.” After years of being the big spoon for his ex girlfriend he's enjoying the feeling of someone's chin resting on his shoulder and a hand on his rib cage. 

_I want to be yours_ rests heavy in the back of Mark’s mouth, his brain stuck in a permanent state of frozen when he’s already wearing Jackson’s pajamas in his bed, surrounded by everything that’s him. “You're bad for my work ethic” It's a weak comeback but Mark eventually gets out of bed with the promise of pancakes that aren't from a box.

 

The beach trip passes and Mark gets a call at 12:30 am that night; he should be asleep but he can’t fall asleep and something’s eating away at him. It’s not the fact Jackson lent Mark one of his hoodies that fits just baggy enough for Mark to swim in or that it smells like him a little too much. He has a shift later and needs sleep otherwise Seokjin will tickle him relentlessly 

“You awake? I can’t sleep. Come take a drive with me, I’ll pick you up.” It’s Jackson (who else would it be?) and a flower blooms on the metaphorical vine choking his heart when Mark agrees to it, the rumble of Jackson’s car engine beneath his window sooner than expected. The scene is reminiscent of his teenage years, sneaking out to meet his girlfriend and speeding away before her dad caught them.

Jackson meets him at the curb and Mark launches into a hug that has Jackson’s face buried in Mark’s shoulder where it lingers long enough that Mark’s heart beats too hard and he could stay like this all night. “What’s the matter?” Jackson’s face fits perfectly between Mark’s hands, his thumbs sitting at the corners where his eyes crease and the exhaustion is palpable. There's obvious stress lines forming but Mark doesn't comment on that. “Have you been watching your anemia?”

“Homesick, is all.” It’s not all and Mark digs out the aux cord to keep the silence at bay when they’re in the car together. Something soft, something mild that doesn't drown out what they'll talk about. “Sometimes I get a little sad looking at airfare and my schedule.” 

There’s not a whole lot Mark can say in response because his parents are an hour away; he only puts his hand on Jackson’s thigh and curls his fingers around it as a means to comfort him with a gentle rubbing motion. It’s late enough that the roads and beaches are empty, buildings dark save for some late night taco bells and pizza delivery cars. Mark likes the anonymity of it all, likes how he can be affectionate in this liminal space and then walk away like it never happened. “It’s okay if you’re lonely. You don’t always have to be happy.” Jackson thinks too much, Mark knows this, but doesn’t say it out loud. “You're human, after all.” 

“Tell me that thing you brought up at the beach. I don't mind if it takes a while.”

So Mark takes a deep breath and collects his thoughts. “My ex, the one that I was with for a while. She uh. Left me for her new boyfriend and it's not exactly a great story but she tainted the idea of me ever dating again, not to be dramatic.” Mark talks more now than he has in weeks, all of it coming out like word vomit. “I really thought she was the one, like, she was it for me after years of feeling unsure. And she ended it to be with a guy she met at work, because my career isn't stable enough to her.”

“I'm sorry that happened to you. How long?” Mark musters up late night courage and ignores his filter. It's been over a year since she left him and he can't let go of her, pieces of her presence remain at the apartment even though Jinyoung told him to get rid of all of it.

“A few years together, we were talking about getting our own place and letting Jaebum move in so he could live with Jinyoung full time and stop hiding.” Thinking about it all now doesn't hurt as much, it's only a dull ache of nostalgia instead of a fresh wound. “But that's the past, you know? It happened before I signed a lease and that's at least good.” 

He's been saying this to himself for a year now, told himself it's all been for the best “Do you want someone to sleep next to tonight?” Mark's said his share, bared his soul and really wants to go home.

“Maybe.”

He tries his damnedest to be quiet when he’s pulling a sleep-drunk Jackson into his and Jinyoung’s apartment at 1:45 in the morning, biting back the need to kiss the bags under his eyes away. Jackson’s bed at his apartment is bigger and the mattress is softer but he seems content with Mark’s full sized bed that’s only slightly uncomfortable for two grown men. “C’mere Mark, please?” His voice sounds too small for his body. 

“I need to brush my teeth first.” It’s half a lie, he need to regain his composure too. Breathing is hard right now and he's overwhelmed. “Get comfortable, I’ll be there in a minute.” Jackson’s asleep when Mark comes back, laying on his side as if he’s leaving a spot for Mark and only him. His shirt sits haphazardly on the floor where his shoes are and Mark is still getting used to all of this. He's uncertain he ever will.

 

In the morning Jackson isn’t there and Jinyoung has already gone to work. He stays in bed well beyond his alarm, beyond his stomach rumbling for breakfast.

Mark wonders how long they’ll be in this limbo period until one of them makes a move.

“How long has it been?” Jinyoung asks Mark after work that night with a lesson plan folded neatly in his lap. Keeping seven year olds on the right educational track is tough work.

“Since what?” Mark’s humming along to some song about being in a dreamlike place about an ex love, about a person, about no one in particular. He’s not aware of the connotation of the song, how he emphasizes ‘don’t you want my love?’ and ignores the texts from his sisters about how he should really get back out there again.

“Since your ex. I know everyone takes things at their own pace, but you’ve been noticeably happier since you met Jackson. He was here last night, wasn’t he? I heard you leave and then come back.”

“He called me, Jinyoung. I picked up and he asked if I could keep him company.” Mark twiddles his thumbs and wrings excess water out of the dish towel before hanging it to dry. He’s been caught like a child with a hand in the proverbial cookie jar and Jinyoung is the irate parent in this situation; there’s shame rising in his throat like it’s scandalous to bring someone back in the first place even though they're both adults that can do whatever they choose to. “I just can’t say no to anything he asks of me.”

“Is that how you felt about her?” Jinyoung abandons his folder of lesson plans to sit at the small table by Mark. “If she ever called you at midnight like he did, what did you do?”

“I.” The hauntingly warm melody from the song echoes in his mind. “I didn’t do anything.” Their kitchen is too quiet. Jinyoung knows when to push and when not to, this time being the right time.

“But you leapt out of bed because Jackson asked without even considering your shift in the afternoon.” Jinyoung’s not vindictive or gloating about this - it was all a matter of time, really, until Mark stopped being so stubborn with his emotions. “Mark, you like him.”

“I think I love him, Jinyoung.” The realization doesn't hurt, it just snakes around his heart like a climbing vine and takes hold of it, more little flower buds waiting to bloom when the timing is right. 

Jinyoung rubs at his temples and sighs. “I wish I had the same luxury as you. Being public with whoever you date, that is.” It's the same conversation they've had before when they were younger, when Mark dated freely and Jinyoung had to pretend to be the best friend and sit at an arm's length away with every closeted guy he dated. Jaebum is no different from the ones in college but he's so much more important to Jinyoung than the rest combined. (Jinyoung is out and his family took it well, asking if he was going to give them grandkids or not regardless of who he marries. Jaebum, well. He's another story entirely.) “It's hard to be with Jaebum since everyone in this city knows him and me, and his parents don't know about us. Imagine if someone saw us together and ran to his dad, saying 'Oh, I didn't know your son is one of _them_ , you should talk to him about it.' You have the opportunity to be public with your feelings and potentially a relationship, Mark. I can't even sleep over at his parent's house! I can't hold his hand unless we're sure nobody he knows is nearby. When I visit him at the restaurant his dad just thinks I'm his friend and talked about setting him up with his friend's daughter in front of me. Don't let your ex ruin this for you." It pulls at Mark's already tender spot for Jackson and twists a knife around in it. "Go after him. For me?”

“I'm an idiot.” Mark is unsure of what to do with Jinyoung's words; they swirl around like a hurricane of guilt and confusion to the point he feels nauseous. “Fuck, I'm so stupid.”

“So, how does it feel?” 

“Terrible, why do emotions exist?” Jinyoung laughs and just shrugs.

 

 

“Miho, stop trying to eat the plastic bag.” Bambam reigns in his puppy and Mark enjoys the meandering pace of the walk; the younger one isn’t always about making noise for the sake of noise and acknowledges Mark’s energy levels are low right now. “You alright? You’ve been off since the beach.”

“It’s probably work.” Mark lies and Bambam sees through it but doesn’t call him out. “Jackson called me at like, 1am a few nights ago, too. He stayed over.”

Bambam’s _‘whaaaat’_ even makes Miho stop sniffing the grass and chewing on a dandelion only to resume the latter after she finds nothing to be worried about. “Did you two kiss yet? He’s been so mushy about you lately, said something about how you’re the perfect size for spooning or some shit. I think he likes you but he's being vague about it and using ambiguous words.”

He pushes his sunglasses up onto his head and whistled for the puppy’s attention to give her a treat for not barking at a passerby on a bike. 

“He thinks so?” Mark groans and drops his head into his hands, crouching at dog level for emotional support or a thoughtful lick from Miho. “I think so too.” Miho trots over and licks at Mark’s forehead - it makes him temporarily forget about his own crisis and he indulges the puppy a little more. “Tell me about Jungkook. Is he a good roommate? Yugyeom treats you well and I'd kick his skinny ass if he didn't. ”

“Yeah.” Bambam sighs and it sounds so casually lovesick, and Mark envies how Bambam is able to get one boyfriend but he’s still working on corralling his feelings. “He’s really sweet, kind of shy but I think it’s endearing. I think Yugyeom was his first real kiss.”

“That’s because you used to flirt with guys in rolex watches so you didn’t have to pay for drinks at the bar. Everyone is sweet compared to that.” Mark's face scrunches up in mild confusion at Yugyeom kissing Jungkook because last he checked Yugyeom isn't dating him. Friends kiss each other all the time and he doesn't know their relationship dynamics, so who is he to judge? It's a little strange to him that Bambam is okay with Yugyeom kissing other people but after the night at the club everything seems off to him.

“That’s all in the past, Yugyeom and I prefer Netflix and blowjobs now.”

"I don't want to know about your sex life, go tell Jackson about the dick you're getting. At least you can't accidentally make me an uncle." 

Bambam punches Mark's arm and picks Miho up, snuggling the puppy. "You're already her uncle! It's a girl, how do you feel?" 

"Dogs I can handle. I like Miho more than you sometimes."


	5. palate cleanser: part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is all about the other characters! sorry about the lack of markson but the others need some time to shine. mark and jackson will have their time to walk in circles around each other in the later chapters :) it's probably shorter than the others since it's more of an interlude and a chance for me to collect my thoughts! there's a lot of drama coming soon.

Yoongi cracks his knuckles once, twice, a third time, and then Jimin shoots him a glare - he's trying to do homework and the occasional _crick, crack_ from across the living room is too distracting. There's no way he's going to put up with this when Hoseok isn't here to lovingly nag at him about how doing that will give him arthritis (even if it's been disproved). “Really? I can hear that all the way over here.”

“Not my fault you have bat ears.” Yoongi lowers his headphones and they sit around his neck looking comically large; he’s been mixing this song for the better part of two hours and neither Namjoon nor Hoseok are here to help. He'd call Jaebum after he graciously lent his voice to some tracks if he wasn't helping his dad with the restaurant books on a weekday night and Hoseok is out on another date with Momo. (Yoongi knows this information through Jimin, who knows absolutely everything and is proud of it.) “Help me see what’s wrong here, you’re good at this shit.” 

Jimin rolls out of his stretch that looks more like a masochistic pretzel knot to an untrained dancer and Holly patters behind him, tail wagging. “What’re you stuck on?” When Yoongi gets stuck in his own perfectionist head it's asking for trouble and possibly a migraine. 

The computer screens in front of him used to make no sense before getting together with Yoongi. Now he confidently takes the wireless mouse away and clicks around the screen where Yoongi mentioned having a dilemma. “I think it's the bridge, something’s missing. Sing it for me, maybe that’ll clear it up.” Yoongi pushes his chair out so Jimin can sit comfortably on his lap, arching his back and it cracks just enough so Jimin relaxes. Holly curls up into a brown, fluffy mass on the rug and gets cozy.

An hour of back and forth nitpicking at the bridge later, Yoongi has a theory that Jimin’s his secret to solving every problem. 

 

Hoseok kidnaps Taehyung regularly, claiming _us straight guys gotta stick together_ and ruffling Taehyung’s hair like the younger brother he is and the one Hoseok doesn't have. As much as it's great dating Momo, there's a necessary amount of bro time required otherwise he goes crazy; asking Jackson to hang out is a wasted effort because the conversation unintentionally revolves around his big gay crush on Mark and his inability to do anything about it. “You hang out at Kook’s place, right?”

“Yeah, I do.” Taehyung uses Hoseok’s distraction to take out his character in the game of Smash they’re embroiled in. Hoseok only notices after Link falls to his death and he has one life left while Taehyung tries to make Marth do a victory dance. “It’s pretty clean for three boys living there, considering Bam has more shoes than all of us combined.”

“He’s really handsy with the other two, don’t you think? I don’t want him getting hurt or anything in case they don’t reciprocate. Feelings are kinda weird like that.” Everyone's been curious about what that trio's relationship _really_ is after the scene at the club where sharing was definitely caring. 

“Those two are a thing, aren’t they?” Taehyung looks genuinely confused but Marth still has two lives and he lands a direct hit on Hoseok, sending him almost careening to his last death. “Or are they not?”

“Could’ve sworn Jungkook was a thing with Yugyeom.” If Taehyung didn't tear himself away from Sana's side today, Hoseok would have taken Momo up on her offer to abuse their employee privileges and make good use of the smaller dance studio at the gym together. 

“Maybe they’re all a thing. Y’know.” Taehyung pauses the game and makes a vague hand gesture, three fingers intertwined. Hoseok cocks his head to the side. “A Thing, Hobi!”

 

“What are we?” Jungkook asks over dinner one night, bowls of fried rice that Yugyeom cooked for the three of them. They forgot to buy groceries and might as well use up what's in the pantry before buying anything else. Bambam’s in the middle of washing dishes and lets his own rice cool while Jungkook grills meat and searches for something to listen to. “We sleep in each other’s beds, share clothes, hell, sometimes we kiss each other.” He can't forget the first accidental kiss between himself and Yugyeom, the latter playing it off like it never happened considering Bambam was watching and slyly encouraging it, refilling their drinks the entire night. After that it just happened again and again with nobody stopping it.

It’s an uncomfortable question to say the least; Yugyeom is incredibly affectionate with his friends in general and doesn’t hide it but this is a new level of affection that he'd usually reserve for Bambam only. “Well, I like you and Bammie.” Jungkook nearly drops the tongs and the meat. “And I’m not about to pick between either of you since that’d be awkward.”

Bambam makes an indignant face at the idea of sharing long-term - getting him to come around to the idea of Yugyeom’s attention going to someone besides him and only him was a gradual process that he's still figuring out. He dries soapy water off his hands and finger-combs the hair at the nape of Yugyeom’s neck, stirring up new (good?) feelings in the pit of Jungkook’s stomach since he's thought about being on the receiving end of Bambam's hands. Watching him sew is like watching art in motion, how a trip to the fabric store results in something wearable hours later thanks to those hands. “It’s what you want it to be, Jungkook, we’re down for anything at this point.” The _we_ settles funny in his stomach, rolling around and around until it makes him dizzy.

There’s a moment of tension in the small kitchen before Jungkook gets his another taste of Yugyeom’s mouth, always salty from his chip snacking habit and he wants more. Dinner can wait. “Hey, don’t be jealous now, there’s enough of me to go around.”

“That was bad and you know it, stop trying to be smooth.” Bambam flips the meat over and turns the burner off so it doesn't overcook. "You're lucky I love you."

 

(Bam’s first opinion of Jungkook when Yugyeom invited him to be another roommate to help with rent was indifferent leaning towards standoffish. He acted more possessive of Yugyeom at the beginning, biting more marks into his neck as if to say 'he’s mine' without stirring up real trouble and making sure their affection happened in communal spaces. Yugyeom had to call him out on it when it started to interfere with his friendships with Jungkook.

It wasn’t until month three of living together and Bambam came home early to Jungkook getting out of the shower, shirtless and back from a run. He swallowed a dry lump in his throat and looked anywhere but at his new roommate. “When’d you get home?”

“Just now. My class got out early and I made the bus on time for once.” Jungkook is deceptively good looking and Bam wonders why he isn't showing off more - the clothes he wears hide too much. He'd love to use Jungkook as a model for one of his projects, tailoring a jacket to fit the curvature of his shoulder muscles. “Enjoy your workout?” 

“It was good until I ran into an old friend of mine, she’s gotten really pretty and I’m still bad at talking to girls, even now. I guess that hasn’t changed.” He masks his nerves with a laugh that makes his overbite stick out. (Bunny teeth, Yugyeom called it, cooing over the cuteness.) Bam gets it now, his roommate shirtless and boyishly handsome in their living room. “I kinda ran away, told her I had somewhere to be.”

Bambam’s not a bad person. He works hard in school, calls his mother every week, volunteers, and adores Yugyeom with every ounce of his being. But ogling his roommate once in awhile isn’t too bad.) 

 

 _This situation is a lot better now._ Yugyeom thinks. He’d always thought it’d be hot to see his boyfriend and roommate kiss before, but now he’s seeing it outside of a daydream and is pleasantly surprised to see Jungkook reciprocating as best as he can. Bambam is saying something incredibly filthy in Thai and Yugyeom knows what it is, heard it the first time Bambam opened his big mouth for Yugyeom and got dust all over the knees of his pants. “Gyeom, what’s he saying?”

“Does it matter? It's hot is what it is.” The three of them are so tall, so much leg and limbs that finding comfortable places to sit is a chore in daily life nonetheless position themselves for making out. “Bammie, what do you want Jungkookie to do?”

Jungkook’s wearing his panicked face, the one he makes when he’s got no idea how to handle a situation and is ready to bolt. A drawer handle digs into his lower back and he ignores it for the occasional nibble on his lower lip between Bambam's attempts to eat his face. He’ll come around to the idea of the three of them and how they’d work out together once he can think straight and isn't smelling Bambam's shampoo up close like he did at the beach. “I’m still processing all of this.”

“Yeah?” Yugyeom and Bambam look at each other and Jungkook feels the weight of their eyes on him. “We’ll go slow for you, we don't mind.” Slow, in Yugyeom’s world, is pulling Bambam in his direction and finishing what Jungkook almost started. Yugyeom looks elated to have this awkward tension resolved while Jungkook really would like to eat dinner now. 

 

Jungkook comes around to the idea of not one, but two boyfriends. Knowing he can kiss either of them whenever he wants (within reason, of course)? That’s a lot to consider when his romantic feelings for Yugyeom were tied up together with his friendship, a tangled mass of vines choking his thoughts until he worked it out. 

“You alright, kid?” Yoongi’s in his home studio (which is really more of a laptop plus a desktop and a monitor on an Ikea desk) and called Jungkook over to hang out, order take out and complain about whatever’s going on in their lives. He waves a hand in front of Jungkook's deer-in-the-headlights face. “You’re awfully attached to your phone.”

“I uh.” Jungkook tries to dodge the question and bites his lower lip. Bambam likes it when he does that, he likes to coax even more kisses out of Jungkook that way too. “I’m seeing someone, I guess? It’s kind of a weird story, Yoongi.”

“I’m dating Jimin. He can fold himself in half and walk on his hands while still looking adorable. Nothing is weird anymore.” Touche. 

“I’m dating both of my roommates?” He blurts it out like an unintentional one-upping. His phone clatters to the floor as a message from Yugyeom makes it vibrate. It sits lonely on the carpet, waiting to be rescued. “We’re working out the rest of it, but. It’s nice?”

Yoongi’s coffee doesn’t reach his mouth - he stops halfway there, off-white mug in mid-air and says “What the fuck?” before lowering it back to the table. 

“It's not what you think, I swear! Yugyeom is good to me and all we've done is talk about this whole arrangement.” Yoongi is frozen in disbelief and mild concern when Jungkook answers the ignored text message with one too many emojis and smiles at his phone. “Bam is nice too, he's just a lot to get used to at first. It's not like he's a stranger either, we're roommates.”

“I swear I don't understand kids anymore, it's like one boyfriend isn't enough now so you need two.” Yoongi grumbles at the situation but lovingly ruffles Jungkook’s hair. "Be careful with your heart, okay? I'll send Jimin after those two string beans if they hurt you."

 

Jinyoung's relationship isn't like most. Jaebum is affectionate behind closed doors and when they're with friends, promising him the world on a silver platter once he finally comes out and it all blows over with his parents. “When? You can't rush these things, you know. Don't do it for me.” They rarely fight - instead Jaebum blows his temper and then calms down like it never happened. Some people are dealt a good hand with a few bad cards and Jaebum knows how to play the ones he has.

It's late at the restaurant, in the back office where they always meet at night when Jaebum closes in place of his father He's young and burdened with filial guilt so the least he can do is work the night shift for his aging father. Jinyoung brings with him a sense of relief that nobody else can, that his father instantly ruins whenever he shows up. He smells like peach body wash and Jaebum takes a minute to bask in that scent. “I need to do this for me. For us, so you aren't my friend to my parents anymore and we can hold hands in public.” Jaebum rests his head in his hands and his shoulders drop; he's exhausted from work and from lying to his parents for the last four years of his life. “When we got together neither of us were out and it was alright, but your parents accepted you without questioning if it was a phase," And he emphasizes the word phase like it tastes bitter. "And took me in on top of it.” 

Outside of the office the closing shift moves without a hitch in the process of it all, practiced over months and years with good company and the right radio station. Jinyoung sighs and says a prayer even though he stopped going to church years ago - Jaebum goes every Sunday like the good son that he is despite him giving up the faith years ago. He's too good of a son, if Jinyoung's opinion has any merit. Jaebum works at the restaurant five of the seven days of the week and still times find to spend with Jinyoung, cooks him dinner on Sundays and slow dances in the kitchen to their favorite songs. “I love you regardless of what they say, Jaebummie. I'll be with you when or if you decide to come out." Jinyoung kisses his boyfriend's forehead. "I have to get ready for work tomorrow, so call me when you get home safely.”

Jaebum does it that night at the kitchen table, riding on fear and anxiety that he hasn't felt since the first time Jinyoung cornered him on campus and kissed him without a worry in the world. He thinks of Jinyoung, how he's sacrificed his own happiness to keep Jaebum’s image clean when all he's wanted to do is be together in public and Jaebum can't give him that. The silver cross around his neck feels too heavy and he apologizes to nobody in particular before removing it, winding the chain around his fingers.

“Appa? Eomma? Can I talk to you?” He should have called Jinyoung or done this later but it's too late to back out. “I'm sorry for this, I know it's late.”

His mother hushes him and checks his forehead for a fever, her first concern is that he's sick and he feels nauseous but not because of illness. The gesture is so caring and genuine even though he's heard them say horrible things about people like him and his friends that his view of his parents has skewed over time and a good son should only think highly of his parents. His father rubs his eyes and looks concerned. “What is it? Are you okay?”

“No, I don't think I am.” The silver ring that Jinyoung bought for him on their second anniversary is inoffensive and doesn't look like a couple's item - he's been wearing it for years without them noticing. He plays with it to slow his pulse, ignoring the fight or flight sensation and the soft twisting motion around his index finger grounds him. “I've been lying to you two and it's not fair to any of us. I'm your only son and you want me to do all of these important things that I don't know I can do. I can't get married like you want me to, or give you a daughter in law like you've been trying to.” This is all for Jinyoung. He can't be selfish anymore. “I'm gay.”

“You're just tired, honey, and stressed. How about you get some sleep and then we talk about it later? I'm sure you're just confused.” There's that word again, the one he hates. 

“No, I'm not confused. I've been the good son since the day I was old enough to understand what you meant when you said to respect my family name. To keep a good image. And being gay doesn't fit in that.” Jaebum is caught between cultures and identities, grew up speaking Korean at home and English in school, struggling when teachers couldn't pronounce his name but digging his heels into the ground and refusing to pick an English name to please everyone else. Being held to eastern standards in a western country. “I can't lie anymore about who I am.”

It's not masculine to cry. (Jinyoung, however, taught him it's okay to cry and let his feelings out before he combusts.) “I know you're disappointed in me and I'm not the son you raised.” Jaebum sniffles and uses his sleeve to wipe anything away.

His father says nothing but his mother crumbles, her eyes the same as Jaebum’s and shut tight. His father's nose, the same cheekbones that Jaebum has, the sharp cupid’s bow of his mother's lips are drawn tight in a flat line. “You're not kidding?” 

“Not about this.” His feet hurt and he wants to go to bed now that the adrenaline isn't keeping him awake. (What he wants the most is Jinyoung, to hear his voice say that he's proud of him and took a huge step. He'll settle for a phone call.) “I'm sorry.” The kitchen is too quiet and it's not often he asks for his parents to talk but this time he does. “If you want me to move out I have somewhere to go.” 

“You're not moving out.” It's his dad that breaks the silence. “We just need time to this news but we aren't mad at you.” 

Jaebum sits on the back porch, barefoot and in his pajamas after his parents went to bed, speaking their dialect to each other in quiet tones. Nora meows and scratches at the door until he opens it and she purrs in his lap; his cat has been here since high school when she showed up as a stray on the driveway, licking an injured paw and waiting for someone to help. Now she's spoiled and has two little kitten-siblings, rescued from the same shelter that Youngjae volunteers at and all three go to the veterinarian office he works at. She stretches and looks up at Jaebum, meowing as if to him if he's going to pet her or not.

He weighs out the pros and cons of calling Jinyoung this late, tired from his one sided conversation earlier. “Jinyoung? Baby, did I wake you up?”

“No, but why are you calling? Are you alright?” His voice is deep and rumbly on the other end and book pages rustle in the background. He must have been reading before bed; Jaebum knows his nighttime routine well and made up an imaginary girlfriend at one point to get his parents off his ass about where he went when the probing questions got to be too much.

“I told my parents about me. Not us yet. But we'll get there, I think.” 

“Of course we will. I'm glad you did this, for you.” Jaebum is so grateful to have Jinyoung in his life - he could have moved onto someone else when Jaebum was being too stubborn to change. “Go to sleep, I love you.”

"Baby, I did it for us too. We're in this for the long haul together, remember?" He sighs and laughs into the phone. “Have a good day at work tomorrow.”

 

"If the boys get their own day to cause trouble, so do we!" Dahyun throws the last of the pillows onto the floor, completing her one-person fort. She's not walking around on a bad ankle anymore and stepped up to help Jihyo around while she recovers from knee surgery. She's set up the recliner as Jihyo's designated seat for the sleepover so she doesn't need to use her crutches too often. "It's not often we get to poke fun at our friends being in relationships or almost-relationships."

"This is what happens when someone who isn't me is in charge." Jihyo walks in fine with crutches, her cast scrawled on in sharpie and decorated with stickers and doodles. Dahyun lives at home and her parents gave her the living room for the night, only telling them to keep it down after eleven. "Are the other three on the way?" 

"Sana's managed to corral the other two, they'll be here soon." Jihyo planned a night of movies and not getting any homework done as a way to temporarily cheer her up while she maneuvers the world on crutches. It's hard for her to give up on that leader role even when she's indisposed. Doting on her friends comes easily and she's not likely to stop; she's more likely to use her crutches as an extension of her arm if need be. 

When the trio shows up Momo is of course latched onto Sana's arm because she's mid-text and doesn't want to walk into any furniture. Mina is the only one thoughtful enough to bring food over even though they're close enough friends that some formalities can be left behind and Dahyun takes the peanut butter cookies from her. "Momo, do you really need to talk to Hoseok all the time?" 

"I guess not." It's hard for them to not be happy seeing Momo happy, all of her skinship tendencies transferred to another person who is equally tactile. "Mina has better news though, isn't that right?"

"It can wait until you're done." She dives onto the couch and pulls her sweatshirt hood up; she won't tell a soul about what she's done, or hasn't done with Youngjae until the others pry it out of her. 

The stereotypes about a girl's night in are mostly true, down to the gossiping and watching intentionally bad movies for the sake of picking apart the flimsy plots. Sana blushes and covers her face when she mentions how Taehyung managed to charm her enough to get two whole dates and there's a round of ooh's and ahh's. They gossip about boys, the ones in their lives, anyway, and how Mina is tight-lipped when it comes to a certain person. (Momo broke into the tupperware of cookies and passed them around when they gathered in a circle on the floor near the recliner.) It's only when Momo throws herself at Mina's empty lap and whines until Mina cracks a smile.

"We already know about Momo getting some, courtesy of Sana." And the person in question doesn't hide how proud of it she is, sticking her tongue out when Momo attempts to deny anything and save what's left of her dignity. "And congratulations to her, by the way." Dahyun fist bumps Sana. "But we need to know more about Taehyung. It wouldn't be a proper sleepover if we didn't grill you too."

"Dahyun, we work with Taehyung. Of course we want to make sure he's a good match and we know him, but what's he _really_ like?" Jihyo sits up in the recliner and leans in as best as she can resting her chin in her hands. "You know what we're asking."

Sana squeals and covers her face, the opposite of her earlier actions. "I haven't seen his, yknow, his thing, yet!" It's juvenile to avoid the word when she's been trying to seduce Taehyung since the carnival through her never-ending cuteness and subtle hints. "He stayed over when Momo went to Hoseok's apartment and I put on a horror movie so I had an excuse to get close to him." 

"Why are boys so clueless?" That's Jihyo's prophetic statement of the evening, and of the year, potentially. "When are you going to let him in on the fact you actually like horror movies?"

Sana ties her hair up in a ponytail and shrugs. "When it's convenient for me. It makes him feel good when he puts his arm around me during the scary parts."

There's a fresh bowl of popcorn near Jihyo when Dahyun comes back into the room with perfect timing to throw her two cents in. "Taehyung's a great match for you, he's kind of spacey and you're clumsy so it evens itself out. Plus, he's cute." Mina nods in agreement. "He's like my brother who watches too much anime and we all thought was gay at first."

"He's definitely not gay," Between handfuls of popcorn Sana confirms that fact, showing her recent texts with Taehyung to the other girls and they erupt in shouting. "I told you so!"

It's difficult to abide by the no noise rule when Momo finally pries something out of Mina about Youngjae, a thinly veiled excuse to gush about how the pictures of him with the rescue animals are saved to her phone and his little Maltese already likes her. "So, movie time?"

"The remote is mine since I'm the one on crutches and none of you would take advantage of my inability to walk." Jihyo clutches the remote to her chest and Mina passes a blanket to her to throw over her legs. "But I don't care what we watch, the no phones rule is enacted until it's over." Momo opens her mouth to complain but Sana puts her hand over it before anything happens. "Now, who's ready for Saw IV?"

"Hell yeah!"


	6. fourth course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Mark could drive to Jackson's apartment with his eyes closed by now. He might as well have a key at this point too but he doesn't know if it's within reason to ask for one yet. However, he left a toothbrush and toiletries at Jackson's apartment (and a little more of his heart every time he shuts the door behind him)."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back again for chapter 6! now we're back on the main plot here! anyway, today is a good day because i'm going to see day6 in october!!

It's common practice now for Jackson to wait for Mark until he's done with closing, leaning against the back wall with his gym bag on the floor so they can go home together and continue to deny their feelings for each other while pretending they don't want to kiss each other until they're done being stubborn. The rest of their friends don't say anything explicitly but raise their eyebrows when Mark breaks out into a comically large smile at Jackson whenever they make eye contact. It used to be cute for the first week but now it borders on unbearable because they can't even be honest with each other; Seokjin whacks Mark upside the head accidentally (when it's intentional) and reminds him he's still on the clock, he can flirt with his boyfriend when his shift is over.

Sometimes Mark meets Jackson for lunch with two perfectly portioned meals waiting for them when he's off from work or before his shift starts. The change in sleeping habits has been one of the many positive side effects of his not-quite-there-yet relationship. He's been eating healthy and exercising a little as a result but he won't admit it, feeling bold enough to use Jackson's guest pass for the gym a few times and finding a little confidence in being able to almost keep up with him. 

Jimin makes bigger goo goo eyes the longer this goes on since he bears witness to a lot of their interactions, texting the secret group chat with updates on the blossoming romance and seeing who lost the betting pool. Nobody’s really sure when Operation Markson became a combined group effort but it’s in full force and won't be stopped until there's a confession. Momo pokes her head around the corner and stays quiet, keeping her ears open so Mina and Sana stay up to date on what's happening too. (There's a lot of unexpected romance blooming in the fall and it's a terrible cliche she's guilty of herself.)

“So.” Jackson cracks the lid open on that day's lunch and picks out the grilled pork before poking at the roasted potatoes. He doesn't even have to tell Mark what kind of food he likes and is always happy when lunch is an excuse for them to be together. Mark just shows up with food and Jackson graciously eats it, knowing Mark made it for him means it tastes better. He'd confess his love every time but it'd get stale after the third time and when he finally does say it, it has to be just right. “My friend Jae’s band is having a show tomorrow and Jinyoung can't make it and I have an extra ticket now. I know this is all last minute and you don't have to go if you don't want to.” Mark doesn't fidget with his phone as much as he did when they first met and instead he lets Jackson take his hand and loosely link their fingers together by their pinkies despite rambling. “Weeknight shows don't work with his schedule anymore and Jaebum sleeps over when he has to open the restaurant instead of his dad.”

Jackson flips through his phone calendar with his free hand but doesn't let go of Mark's the entire time, swinging their arms back and forth under light green umbrellas on chairs with striped cushions. They’re sitting outside of the gym on the patio and people watching while having lunch (while being watched by Momo and Jimin through the glass, who try not to give themselves away but sneak a few pictures for later use. It's for science, after all.) “You're off tomorrow so why don't you come over my place after work? We can finish watching Stranger Things together since we’re almost done. And I can do pushups while you use my back as a footrest.”

Mark snorts when Jackson flexes. It sounds like a proposition for a date, but dating in the modern age is a mess of insecurities and ambiguous words he doesn't have the energy to sort through. 

“And then we go to Jae's show, making Jinyoung apologize to Wonpil that he's old and boring while we have fun?” That little comeback gets a rise out of Jackson, a quick little raise of his eyebrow paired with a smile. A complete lack of hesitation to agree to one of many sleepovers they don't mention to their friends but they somehow find out anyway; Mark could drive to Jackson's apartment with his eyes closed by now. He might as well have a key at this point too but he doesn't know if it's within reason to ask for one yet. However, he left a toothbrush and toiletries at Jackson's apartment (and a little more of his heart every time he shuts the door behind him).

“Do you want me to drive you back after work or are you okay with meeting me at my place?” A roller skater walking his dog (or is the dog walking him? That's something Bam and Miho could do once she's trained properly, he doesn't weigh very much and Miho is eager to run) rolls by without a care in the world. Traffic comes and goes at its usual pace. Mark yawns even though he's now used to getting up early just to see Jackson if only for an hour before his own day begins. “The yawn suggests me driving you tonight. Text me when you're ready?”

Mark leans against the other’s shoulder and watches time tick away until lunch break is over. His own shift starts later. Not like it matters. “Sounds good.”

 

 

“So, how’s Jackson doing?” Seokjin is practically bent over one of the tables with his face in his hands, desperate for information when Mark comes in early. Mark shrugs and says nothing, which makes Seokjin pout and Dahyun snicker at his childish behavior. “Namjoon won’t tell me anything because he’s a good friend but an awful boyfriend.”

“Namjoon, keep it up.” Mark shouts across the kitchen where the one in question came back from the employee bathroom. “He’s good. We’re going to my friend Jae’s concert tomorrow since Jinyoung isn’t fun anymore.”

“Huh, I just heard Jaebum in the office talking to him. He thinks he’s sly speaking Korean when most of us here grew up speaking it too.” Mark used to feel like the token outlier in his group of friends for not speaking the language but he's picked up a little bit by exposure. It's not enough to hold an extensive conversation but he's impressed regardless.

“At least I have Amber to commiserate with when it comes to that.” He leaves out how he's been picking up Mandarin with Jackson too because their conversations tend to be less speaking and more dodging each other's feelings after Jinyoung threw in his two cents in the kitchen that night. Speaking Mandarin with Jackson feels like a blanket around his shoulders, like the warmth and contentment that stemmed from long-distance calls with his family around the world. Jackson is a different kind of contentment, though, a kind he hasn't felt in a long time. 

Mark can only think about going back to Jackson’s apartment for the night and the inevitable teasing that both of them will never hear the end of once word gets out. Their sleepovers started out unintentional until Jackson expected Mark to stay the night after the third time they lost track of time. (“You may as well leave pajamas here, I have a spare toothbrush for you.” “Joke's on you, I packed my own toothbrush already.”) It keeps going on and they can't find a reason to put a stop to it when they wake up spooning and even tolerate each other's morning appearance. Jinyoung teases but Jaebum is close to becoming another roommate and they started out with unintentional sleepovers too. Mark has considered asking him to jump on their lease since Jinyoung can't bring himself to yet.

Namjoon is sporting purple hair now thanks to Taehyung and he looks proud of it, showing his dimples to boot. Mark hasn't noticed the entire time and he'd feel bad about it but they've been inordinately busy for the last three hours of work and his biggest concern was staying in sync with Seokjin so they didn't fall behind. “Tae claimed another victim.” 

“My poor bathtub looks like a bottle of grape soda exploded. Even parts of the shower curtain are stained!” Seokjin fake cries into his sleeve when it's slower and they have time to breathe. Dahyun and Taehyung haven't had a minute to rest in the dining room since Jihyo's stuck at the register until her knee heals. “But Namjoon does look good, I won't lie.” 

“He wanted to practice color some more and said he'd cover my shift when I have to give an exam in place of the professor next week.” 

“How much are you making per hour?” 

“Not enough for the work I do.” Seokjin vouches for that with a nod. “When I become a professor I won't give multiple choice exams, ever.”

 

Mark gets back home when Jinyoung is loading the dishwasher, clattering glasses together to make everything fit. For someone who works in the morning he sure is up late often. “Are you still upset at me for missing the concert?” 

“Jackson's going with me instead, my feelings aren't hurt.” Jinyoung feigns shock. “Yeah, yeah, you and everyone else.” 

“You like him, so why haven't you made a move yet?” Jackson is on his way - Mark is only home long enough to grab a change of clothes and pajamas. “It didn't take long for Jaebum and I to come around to the idea.”

“Not all of us are good with feelings.” Mark is itching to pack and get out the door but he's stuck to the floor where he stands; he's weighed down by Jinyoung's words. “It's complicated, okay?”

“It's actually not complicated but keep lying to yourself. Have fun at your sleepover.” Jinyoung deadpans and he's most likely right but Mark can't bring himself to admit it. (Jinyoung is actually right, it's not complicated but Mark prefers to lie to himself.)

It's a wave of relief once Mark slides in the passenger seat and Jackson looks half asleep with damp hair and sweatpants that have seen considerably better days; their opposite schedules are a strain but the time they have together is valuable. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Jinyoung was telling me I need to be home more often.”

“Might as well move in with me with the amount of time you sleep over,” They're both ready for bed but Jackson doesn't sleep well without mark. “I left Netflix paused, let's go home.”

Jackson uses the plural so easily and without worry for the implication of it. “What if you never met me?” They could kiss right now, Mark sees tufts of hair sticking out of Jackson's beanie and he'd tuck those back in and then close the gap between them. “I mean, what if we never started hanging out like this?”

“I'd find my way to you somehow.” The flashing of streetlights illuminate Jackson's face - dark bags under his eyes from work but nevertheless he's content. Mark's not sure if Jackson will ever be satisfied with work or himself, always striving to do better. “I think we were meant to meet.” Mark thinks so too. 

They only get one episode into Stranger Things before Mark throws in the towel and drags himself to Jackson's bed. It's hard to tell where their boundaries even lay anymore when the mattress sighs from Jackson getting into bed next to him when it's a queen and there's room for two more but they sleep pressed together. “You're done by two, right?” They'll drift closer together throughout the night and wake up like it's nothing out of the ordinary. With Jackson, personal space doesn't exist. Mark normally discourages that kind of behavior but he wants Jackson to do something first so he can reciprocate and it won't end in rejection for the sake of his own heart. 

“Yeah, sleep in as late as you want and we can keep watching that episode we never finished.” 

 

Mark isn't using the crowd at the bar as a flimsy excuse to keep Jackson close to him, bordering on unbearably close, no, he's just really certain they won't be separated when he feels Jackson's belt buckle dig into his skin from proximity. It's loud already and Jae ushers the two of them backstage where the others are. They're a mix of warming up and shaking off performance jitters. “Jackson, this is Jae. We went to highschool together and now he's in a band that's kind of good. He's alright but the others are better and I like them more.” Mark introduces Jackson to the rest of the band, receives a playful shove from Jae. 

“Speaking of the others,” Jae looks around and counts, missing one. There used to six but now there's five and they don't bring it up. “Brian isn't here?” 

“I saw him with some girl at the bar, he was too busy trying not to eye-fuck her to say hi.”

“That's his new girlfriend, they met when he needed a new bass strap and she was buying an amp. She's good, too. It's just funny seeing all five feet of her with a full size bass and shredding it.” Sungjin fills Mark in on the current situation with Brian and his new(ish) fling. “We considered letting her fill in if he can't make it to practice and he didn't appreciate that.”

Jackson settles in next to Jae on a couch that's seen better days and squeaks when another body bears down on the springs. He pats his thigh and looks at Mark as if he's asking him to sit there. He'd want to if they weren't already dodging suspicious looks from their friends for the last few weeks already and the added weight of Jae's band isn't needed. “How long have they been together?” Dowoon twirls a drumstick around, tapping his foot to an invisible beat.

“A few months? His family is back in Toronto and she's an east coast transplant so they haven't had the family get in the way. Brian's mom doesn't know she's white, either.” Sungjin is a trove of information and Mark appreciates his willingness to talk. He sits on the arm of the couch instead and doesn't think about the gross things done on it in the past. He doesn't push away Jackson's touch settling on the small of his back to keep him from toppling over. (Dowoon looks at that with fondness, exchanging a knowing glance with his bandmates.) “I don't know how she'd react if she knew he's not with an Asian girl, she's kinda weird about that.”

Mark shrugs and can't imagine the drama - his parents never cared who he or his siblings dated so long as they treated him well. Jae hollers for Brian to get back here and that the bar will be there after, they're starting in ten. “See you after the show?” 

“Fuck yeah, and tell Jinyoung he's a boring old man now. Can't even take a few hours to come see his friends play.” Wonpil laughs at Jae's comment and Mark and Jackson go scope out a good spot to watch the show. 

 

“Brian is the bassist, the one to the right. Don't call him that, his actual name is Younghyun but he decided his English name would be Brian. Once the guys found out he didn't stand a chance.” Mark points him out when the band goes on and the crowd gets rowdy, knocking Mark back into Jackson's chest so they're closer than they intended to be. “Sorry. Someone shoved me.”

“I'll be your bodyguard tonight, nobody else is gonna push you around.” Mark neglects to tell Jackson that he's been to concerts before, throwing himself in mosh pits since age fifteen and came back bruised from the knees down; he doesn't need protecting. The amps are loud and Mark is certain that the floor vibrates from volume; they're close to the stage and see everything up close - Jae flirts with the crowd too much and even with Mark a little bit (and he enjoys the effect it has on Jackson, grasping his hip a little tighter).

Mark laughs and it's barely audible over the music, leans back into Jackson's hold and attempts to tell him that Jae doesn't mean it but it gets lost over the crowd cheering between Sungjin’s banter with Younghyun, who decides to go overboard with stage presence tonight. The feeling of someone sturdy and unwavering behind him eases him into a sense of calm despite everything. 

At the end of the show Jackson leads mark over to the bar. “Do you want a drink tonight?” He already has cash out, ordering a beer for himself. Mark wonders why he wants to drink tonight when he normally passes up every opportunity. “My treat.” 

“I think I'm nauseous seeing _someone_ try to eat his girlfriend's face off right next to me.” Brian has an arm around her shoulders but manages to flip Mark off. “You guys did great tonight, don't give me that shit.”

“Why didn't you tell anyone you finally moved on from your ex? You two look happy together, you deserve it.” Younghyun's words go right where it hurts but the assumptions that they're dating are an uncomfortable truth they can't face - Jackson noticeably backs away from Mark and drinks his beer in a few pulls, avoiding eye contact the entire time. There isn't only a physical distance between them now but all of the mental barriers they had at the very beginning coming back up, locking right back into place. Younghyun's girlfriend tugs on his sleeve and scolds him after reading the atmosphere, notices how Mark recoils into himself and closes his body language up. “What, did I do something wrong?”

“Tell Jae I'll see him around, we have to go.” Even though he feels like running away and getting a taxi so he doesn't have to face Jackson any longer tonight, they go leave together. Mark would have walked back if it meant avoiding a car ride but he's not about to make this more awkward than it needs to be. For the first time in weeks the people minding their own business at the bar encroach on Mark's space and it's hard to think properly, it's difficult to breathe and he just wants to get away from all of it. 

 

Jackson's grip on the steering wheel doesn't relax and he's driving more aggressive than ever even with empty streets; Mark looks at anything and everything except for him, counting potholes in the streets or light that fly by overhead through the window. “Why does everyone think we're dating?”

“Because we spend most of our free time together and I sleep in your bed whenever I stay over. When I wake up we're spooning and you always convince me to stay longer and make you breakfast. I can't say no to you whenever you ask me something and I bring you lunch and ask you how your day's going. Because-” Mark's words were stuck in his throat when Jinyoung confronted him about this before. Now isn't any different, but it's completely different because the object of his affections is listening to them and reacting. The vine isn't choking his heart anymore, it grew even bigger and now it constricts his throat until it hurts. “Because we do fit together. Everyone except for us sees it, apparently.”

"We aren't dating Mark." All of the progress they've made from day one seems insignificant now as Jackson says it so matter of factly like they weren't cuddling and sharing pancakes the week before, because mixed signals are in season and Jackson is up to date on all of them. "Just because everyone thinks we are doesn't mean it's true until it happens."

The word _until_ may have been a Freudian slip, it might not have been. Neither of them find an opportunity to bring it up. 

 

He doesn't stay over again that night (there's another change of clothes in his bag for it, an inkling of hope that they could become something dashed within a ten minute span) and asks Jackson to go back to his apartment instead. "I can call Jinyoung or whatever if you're tired, it's not a big deal."

Jackson sighs, shakes his head no. "No, just because we had A Moment in the car doesn't mean I'm leaving you stranded." A big yawn, and there's more guilt because the bags under his eyes appear bigger. "Do you have everything?"

"Yeah." Before all of this, they talked about their goals and aspirations while laid up in bed together. Jackson gushed over how good Mark smelled and Mark couldn't help but laugh because he used Jackson's bodywash and the latter's three day old stubble tickled his shoulders. They talked about Jackson maybe going home for Christmas and how he'd been applying to physical therapy jobs in the area and watched time pass as if it didn't matter to them. Jackson was serious about Mark leaving a set of pajamas here and they're sitting folded in the half-empty bottom drawer, the one reserved for Mark. 

 

Jinyoung is still awake with Jaebum when Mark gets back, and he wants to become a ghost so he goes unnoticed. They're cleaning up after dinner and Jinyoung is beyond smitten for his boyfriend in the privacy of his own apartment (and in public now too, which Mark is beyond excited over, honestly. It's a little tough to be outwardly excited about anything after the night he's had). Jinyoung's eyes crinkle at the corners and he has to stand on his tiptoes for a moment to properly kiss Jaebum briefly before asking if he's all set to go to bed and the latter brings the last of the dirty dishes to the sink. "Now we are, I made a mess and I'm not leaving you to clean up."

"You're not a guest, you're my boyfriend." He doesn't broach the moving in topic, not until he meets Jaebum's parents officially. Mark goes right to his room, light footsteps that barely graze the stair runner. The only way Jinyoung knows Mark is back is when he slams the door. "Go to bed, I have to check on Mark. Something's not right."

"How can you tell?"

"It's a friend thing. I think something happened at the concert and getting anything out of him is impossible."


	7. fifth course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It hasn’t been a glamorous experience. He’s lived through a lot of experiences on this skateboard, determined to buy a car with his own earnings despite his parents having the expendable income to get one for him, determined to say he made it all by himself with hard work alone. Mark rolls past the gym without realizing it, keeping his head down and hopes Jackson is busy with a client. (Jimin sees him at the desk, though, and Jimin waves before he passes by in a blur.) 
> 
> He turns around and takes the long way back, cruises past the same beach he and Jackson spilled their hearts out on weeks ago. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i posted this late! i was having internet issues + writers block problems and i wasn't really satisfied with the word count and flow of the story. but we're almost there!!

Time passes in a pseudo-haze without Jackson to fill the moments that Mark isn’t at work or sleeping; he goes through his daily routine on autopilot without someone riding in his passenger seat, talking about the most mundane things like his downstairs neighbor’s dog eating the welcome mat or the kids adjacent staying up too late for the third time that week, or reminding him that he needs to eat more than once a day. Jinyoung easily fills parts of the Jackson-shaped void with nagging that rivals his own mother’s in terms of consistency and volume when it comes to avoiding semi self-destructive habits. 

Mark doesn’t mope. Instead he ignores the overnight bag sitting in the corner of his room that he’s neglected to unpack since Jackson dropped him off after the concert and the clean set of clothes sit abandoned and lonely (albeit folded and waiting to be worn, unaware of what happened). He sleeps in too much like he used to, rolls out of bed an hour before his shift and throwing his work uniform on, paying no mind to the wrinkles in his shirt. 

He still drives to work with the windows down at cruising pace, choosing to take advantage of the California fall weather (if it can really be called fall, it’s just less warm). He blocks out how his car lingers with the smell of Jackson’s soap, and the need to reach over and rest his free hand on a knee that isn’t there. The sound of Jackson’s speaking voice rings in Mark’s ear like a bad case of tinnitus. He puts up a face when Seokjin asks why he’s noticeably quieter at work, the mechanic sound of prep work in the back overtaking any attempts Seokjin makes at getting Mark to respond. It's hard to say things when he has nothing to say. 

Life goes on. It wasn’t a breakup but the direct confirmation that a relationship wasn’t on the horizon just yet even though they’ve been walking around the topic for weeks hurts more than a breakup does. Mark channels all of his frustration into slicing vegetables on a mandolin, grazing his fingers on the blade and not acknowledging what happened until he’s done and there’s blood. Shit. 

While he’s washing the cut out in the sink the antibacterial soap gets inside and it stings; Mark winces. Dahyun asks if he’s okay when she passes through the back to punch in, passes him a polka dotted bandage from her purse that fits her personality a little too well. “The bright colors make it hurt less. I’d give you a batman one but my brother used all of mine.”

“Thanks.” Maybe it’s a way to make little kids not rip their bandaid off but the green and white polka dots have a placebo effect. “How Jihyo’s feeling?”

“She's alright.” Dahyun shrugs. “She manages to mother all of us on crutches which isn't really surprising.”

Mark chuckles in response but it feels hollow and automatic. He knows he cares about his co-workers but it's difficult to see through the blindfold over his eyes right now. “Yeah? Tell her that her crazy work family misses her and we're thinking of her.”

(Mark boasted weeks ago, when he first began the unofficial cooking lessons that he rarely got hurt on the job, that holding a knife was second nature to him now. Just as he said that, he nicked his finger with the same knife he warned Jackson about because he’d recently sharpened it. 

It bled more than a usual nick in his finger would and Mark shrugged it off, running the cut under warm water while Jackson shrieked like Mark would die right there and ran to get a bandage. Mark thought right there after a week of knowing Jackson that his cool credibility was ruined and he'd be teased relentlessly for weeks over it. He let the warm water run over his finger until it turned cool, until the bleeding stopped. “Are you okay?”

Jackson's face was panic-stricken while Mark stayed calm. “It's only a cut. I don't need stitches.” His free hand balanced his weight against the granite countertops and Jackson reached for his wet one, resting it on his open palm and wiping it dry with a clean paper towel. “I'm not made of glass, you know. I can handle a little cut.”

The careful attention to detail Jackson gave to drying Mark's hand was annoying at first - it turned into something relaxing. He didn't even notice the quick application of antibacterial cream and a bandage on top of it all.)

Time really does pass slower when a part of you is missing. Mark doesn't realize how long he's been staring at his open palm, fixated on the colorful addition to his hand. He sighs and goes back to work. He changed his route to work just to avoid the gym and its glass walls, to avoid catching Jackson’s reflection in it. He misses Jimin’s cheerfulness greeting him at the door with daily stories from the apartment, most of them surrounding his boyfriend and Hoseok’s bond that borders on homoerotic at times. It’s easy for Mark to say he’s happy single when his friends are in healthy relationships, that’s the stock response everyone uses, but once he fell into a routine with Jackson that mimicked a real couple’s he realized he wasn’t happy being single anymore. 

Reality kind of sucks. Life goes on, his shift goes on. 

 

 

The first night that Mark goes home alone doesn’t raise suspicion - he waves goodbye (and Jaebum’s car tails behind him. He spends less and less time at home while his parents come around, he’s started to move some of his belongings over as a quiet act of rebellion), subtly making his exit out the back and dodging his own tired reflection. None of his coworkers ask why Jackson isn’t there throwing an arm around Mark’s shoulders and whispering something into his ear that’s only funny to the two of them, an intimate inside joke of theirs.

He doesn’t sleep well at night anymore, tossing and turning in his less comfortable full sized bed that he wished was Jackson’s; his attempt at buying a mattress topper to alleviate some of the ache in his back that he thought was from an uncomfortable mattress yields neutral results. He lays awake long after his shift is over and sees the sun threaten to break over the horizon - the second time this unwelcome insomnia keeps him up all night he makes something of it.

In school he was never good at public speaking or art - he took to writing naturally. He hasn’t done any since graduating and that was years ago. He doesn’t think when he’s writing now, taking pen to paper as easily as he does to a recipe and falls asleep with a notebook on his chest and a pen fallen to the floor. 

The second closing shift that Mark goes home alone, Seokjin raises his eyebrows at the distinct lack of Jackson practically wagging his tail and waiting for Mark at the front door. He bites his tongue and tells Mark to take care of himself instead. 

The third time (well, it’s definitely not the third time, leaning towards the fifth) Mark lingers in the back room longer than he usually does, idly scrolling through his phone for messages he hasn’t received in over a week. “Mark, what’s going on with you?” Taehyung sits in the empty chair next to Mark. The wood squeaks and Taehyung tries not to think about what stains are on the cushion. 

“Nothing.” Lying to his friends is as hard as lying to his mother. Lying to Jinyoung ranks above them. “I’m not sleeping well is all, I guess. Probably stress.” 

Seokjin rubs at Mark’s back while Taehyung pries more information out of him. “When was the last time you talked to Jackson?”

“What is he, my babysitter?” Mark scoffs. He should go home but his feet don’t want to move, he doesn’t want to think about how he’s been suffering withdrawals from one particular person. “A week, probably? After Jae’s concert he dropped me at home and we haven’t spoken since.”

“You should talk to him. He’s probably feeling the same way right now.” The advice sounds cliche and predictable, like something from a self help book he’s seen dozens of times tucked away in the grocery store checkout line. “Does Jinyoung know?”

“He has weird psychic powers, he probably does already.” 

 

Jinyoung’s psychic powers are fail-proof because when Mark gets home from work he’s still awake in the living room with a book open. “What are you doing awake? You have work in the morning.”

“A little pair of birdies told me what’s been happening.” The book’s spine is faded and worn out from being open and closed, faded lettering that reads _Tender is The Night_ , the same copy Jinyoung carried around in undergrad when he met Jaebum. It’s seen much better days, tossed around a backpack and pages dog-eared to hell and back, thousands of fingerprints on its pages from being read and re-read and re-re-read. “I’m not upset that you didn’t tell me first, but we’ve been friends long enough for me to know when something’s off with you. It was that night you came home when Jaebum was over, wasn’t it? Something happened and you bottled it up again.”

“He told me point blank in the car that he was frustrated when everyone assumed we’re a couple. It’s impossible not to assume that when we acted like one.” Mark sighs and throws his hands up in frustration. The scenario was the reverse of what he went through over a year ago, watching his relationship fall apart in slow motion over a car ride as his ex nonchalantly said she wasn’t in love with him anymore the way someone talks about the weather. 

“He’s an open book but we don’t know everything about him. Maybe he’s unsure of his sexuality? Jaebum was one of those types, he had his gay crisis in college and pretended to like girls until we met. You didn’t mention exes that happened to be male, did you? For all he knows you’re one of those heteroflexibles.” Jinyoung snorts at the last statement; his own stance on people who think they’re straight with an exception are just in denial. “Bisexual isn’t a dirty word, Mark. You of all people should know this.”

It’s too late to be dealing with this shit. Jinyoung is always right about these things and it’s infuriating because Mark can’t find a hole in his logic. 

For the first time in a week he falls asleep before sunrise. He dreams for the first time in over a week, he dreams of sleeping in Jackson’s bed and waking up to his scratchy morning voice that gives him shivers in the best possible way. He dreams of kissing Jackson and saying 'good morning' and 'I love you' to him in every language he knows. 

When he wakes up, the still-packed overnight bag is mocking him, hunched over in the corner after being crushed repeatedly by a door opening and closing. He unpacks it out of spite and the feeling of relief isn’t instant but it’s gradual.

Mark exhales and looks at the clock - it’s still morning and maybe he’ll find his footing in life again.

 

His day off is a test of willpower from a higher power to not go to the gym and face his worst fears of Jackson not wanting to speak to him ever again. 

The sun’s out and the weather’s nice enough to go without a jacket (soon, Mark will break out a jacket because he can’t handle the cold. He wonders if Jackson likes the cold or if he’s also a firm believer in layers once it drops below sixty degrees) so Mark blows dust off his skateboard and moves without a sense of real direction. He rolls and clacks over sidewalks that have been better days, counts cracks that should be filled and missing pieces of pavement that are long gone. Skateboarding used to be his mode of rebellion when he didn’t know what he wanted to do after high school - college wasn’t the path meant for him and he landed his first job as a busboy at fifteen, working up from there. Scraped knuckles and shallow scars on his knees are a reminder that he’s not the same person anymore. Oil burn scars and singed fingertips remind him of how far he’s come in his career. 

It hasn’t been a glamorous experience. He’s lived through a lot of experiences on this skateboard, determined to buy a car with his own earnings despite his parents having the expendable income to get one for him, determined to say he made it all by himself with hard work alone. Mark rolls past the gym without realizing it, keeping his head down and hopes Jackson is busy with a client. (Jimin sees him at the desk, though, and Jimin waves before he passes by in a blur.) 

He turns around and takes the long way back, cruises past the same beach he and Jackson spilled their hearts out on weeks ago. 

 

Not spending his Saturday in Jackson’s kitchen is an unwelcome feeling that Mark wasn’t forced to deal with in weeks. He hasn’t cooked for himself in a while, hasn’t had the luxury of rifling through family recipes and getting lost in his own space. A short phone call with his parents on speaker, the familiar sound of his father’s laughter filling up the little kitchen as he searches for words to say.

His mother mentions Jackson and asks how he’s doing. “We uh.” Mark rests the knife flat on the cutting board. “Haven’t talked for a week, we had a fight? I think it was a fight.”  


“Not talking isn’t going to make it any better, the only way to fix an issue is to communicate.” He knows better than to argue with his mother - she’s right after all. “You have to chase what makes you happy.”

So maybe he’s been avoiding the subject of calling Jackson and avoiding calling him in the first place for days. His mother wasn’t the first person to suggest a remedy as simple as sending a text to salvage their friendship and she wouldn’t be the last either.

Cleaning up the day’s creation takes up enough time that Mark doesn’t hear the familiar lilt of Jinyoung’s laughter and Jaebum’s voice dropped lower than usual to discourage eavesdropping. Sometimes his roommate understands the concept of a shared living space but there’s a wall between the kitchen and living room so he’ll overlook any shenanigans happening in the other room. As long as they aren’t having sex on the couch, Mark doesn’t care. Even if they were having sex on the couch, he’d be alright with it because he’s had sex on that same couch and didn’t tell anyone. It’s a small dose of normalcy in this unwanted time. 

He’s nearly done drying every dish and pan he used early when he cradles a mug in his hands. The handle is chipped where it joins the mug, flecks of paint are missing. Lettering used to read Disneyland in multicolored block font but it’s missing a few letters now. Mark sighs and knows where this came from, it’s the last bastion of his ex girlfriend’s presence in his life. His grip on the handle is loose now and it threatens to slip out of his hands.

He’s caught up in staring at the old mug and the memories attached to it - a pair of Mickey ears from that same trip are stuffed somewhere in his closet, collecting dust as it rightfully should - that he doesn’t notice Jinyoung tapping him on the shoulder.

Mark flinches and the mug tumbles out of his hand. He could catch it mid-air and hang onto it for the sake of nostalgia or watch it fall to the ground and shatter into dozens of pieces. “Mark?”

Ceramic meets laminated wood and Mark can’t help but laugh. He laughs and Jinyoung’s eyes are wide as saucers out of concern that he’s having a mental breakdown over a coffee mug. His chest feels lighter and it’s easier to breathe seeing the pieces on the floor scattered around his feet. “I feel alright, Jinyoung. I feel good now.”

Jinyoung deserves a medal for living with Mark and putting up with his mood swings. “It finally happened, that god damn cup finally broke.”

It’s not about the cup. It never was about the cup, after all. 

 

A welcome distraction comes later in the form of Bambam needing Mark for help with an assignment. He finds it a little ironic because his personal style is a lack of style, but recently oversized clothing has been trendy so he doesn’t stick out. “Can you model for me? I need two models and I’ve already roped Yugyeom into being one of them. He’s going to cost me so much in material, him and his long legs, Jesus.” Bambam waves a pair of fabric scissors around, feverently cutting at material as he talks. 

“I don’t think you needed to convince him to wear your clothes, Bam. He has fun taking them off you so putting them on wouldn’t be different.” Mark tosses a squeaky toy for Miho to chase and bite until their ears go numb from the shrill noise. 

“Well….” The younger one drags out the last consonants while he cuts more fabric, picks up pins along the way. “I originally wanted to have Jackson be one of my models but he’s been ignoring all of my calls and working more than usual. I’m worried about him, he isn’t even talking to Namjoon either.”

Miho trots back to Mark with the toy dropped at his feet - he ruffles the mixed breed’s fur. Maybe he’ll take Miho for walks with his newfound free time. “When did that start?”

“The day after he went to that show with you. He seemed really excited about going with you too, he facetimed his mom while we hung out and talked about you to her the day before it.” The tomato shaped pin cushion secured to Bambam’s wrist is almost full again and all but one jacket lining pieces are cut out. Miho sits on the tile floor and Bam glares at the dog to stay there or there’d be trouble. “I asked him what he said and he wouldn’t give me details but they were definitely good things about you. Trust me.”

“Do you think he likes me?” Even saying it aloud reminds him of high school, when the girls in his class used to chatter and gossip about who had a crush on who. Asking Bambam if Jackson likes him is like asking your crush’s little sibling to steal their diary and see if the feelings are reciprocated. “It’s a stupid question, I know.”

“He _sooooo_ likes you.” What. Mid-ear scratching, Mark stops and his jaw probably hangs open while Miho whines for more attention. “He told me he figured it out a while ago but he’s pretty stubborn and wouldn’t give me more details. He’s just weirdly in denial about liking guys and trying to internalize it.” Bambam's personal flair drags out the vowel in the _so_ and he folds the scrap material into a semi-neat square just to unfold more fabric.

“Holy shit, Bam. Everything he said in the car makes sense.” 

“What did he say in the car?” 

“I’m not telling you! You’re a blabbermouth.”

 

Mark practices what he wants to say in his head, phrasing and re-phrasing the same thing different ways until he settles on what sounds good. Having any kind of confirmation that the feelings are reciprocated gives him more hope than usual and he sits in his car grasping his phone like he'll die without it. "Jackson?" 

Jackson finally answers after what seems like hours and Mark could cry over hearing his voice again. "You don't hate me? I thought you never wanted to see me ever again after I acted out that night."

"God, no, never. I don't know what I'd do without you." He rolls the window down to let the breeze in the parked car; it doesn't smells like Jackson anymore and Mark wishes he was here. "I miss you. I can't go a whole week without seeing you, you know that? I didn't think we were that codependent on each other. I haven't been sleeping well, either."

"Why didn't you call, then? I could have come over so you weren't alone."

"You gotta put your past behind you." Mark can't believe he's quoting a Disney movie right now but it slips out. It sounds deep enough to not be a Disney movie quote, at least. "Jackson, are you, uh. Do you like guys? Not that it's a requirement to in order to be friends with me or anyone else, but-"

"Yes." Mark's heart rattles against his ribcage, threatening to break out of it with one simple word. "I didn't want to admit it, but, I do. I guess it took time to accept it. And everyone assuming we were dating just made it harder for me to accept it."

"I'll see you next Saturday, then? I don't know what I have going on this week but I. I miss you." 

"You have no idea how much I missed you this week too."


	8. sixth course - dessert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If I eat this and then get acne it’ll be all your fault. It took me years just to clear up my skin!”
> 
> “Don’t be a baby, I’d love you even if you had acne.” 
> 
> “I’d love you if you got a really ugly hairstyle. Like a perm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, we're at the finish line! it's been a lot of fun working on this and as usual, no beta, posted at god knows what in the morning.

Putting extra effort into his outfit even it ends up a little dirty at the end is just a side effect of getting Jackson to stare at Mark's legs in jeans or his newly developing muscles in sleeveless shirts. It’s a parallel to Mark gawking over Jackson’s thighs in athletic shorts that fateful night when all of this started. Today’s the day Mark plans to confess and while he never planned to confess over cake, the way to Jackson’s heart is through his well-toned stomach. 

Before he left the house he needed one more sign of approval - Mark consulted Jinyoung for fashion advice despite his roommate and best friend living out of boot-leg pants and sweaters that shouldn’t look good on a guy under fifty. Bambam and Yugyeom acted as backup, just in case Jinyoung let him out the front door in something Jackson wouldn’t want to rip off of him. Jackson never complained about Mark’s casual wear before, baggy shirts where the neck accidentally dipped down or slipped off his shoulder and jeans that had an equal amount of rips to fabric. 

 

He's familiar with Jackson's kitchen by now and knows where everything is, even the things Jackson didn't know were hiding in the backs of cabinets and stacked inside each other until Mark found them by accident. Even their week apart didn’t set them back. Mark takes his shoes off at the door like always, announces he’s here. “Honey, I’m home!”

“What's on the menu for today?” The sound of 2009 pop punk rattles around and Mark feels a sense of deja-vu as Jackson comes into the kitchen in just jeans and socks t-shirt slung over his shoulder, humming along to All Time Low. Since when could Jackson sing too? It’s unfair. Mark drops his head against the counter top and whines. _You look like an entire meal, now get over here_ is what he keeps to himself.

“No more blond?” In the week they were apart Jackson dyed his hair back to what Mark assumes is his natural color. It’s a good change. 

“No more blond, I couldn’t afford the upkeep.” Mark recalls how Jackson’s dark roots used to show within a few days of a visit to the salon. 

Mark experienced this before in a dream that ended a lot dirtier than their usual Saturdays in a much different way. He's touched those muscles with his own hands more than once and it’s a small blessing that Jackson doesn’t do his workouts shirtless. Mark sweats just thinking about what his clients would say. “I looked around at your Spotify when you weren't paying attention, you still owe me a mix tape.” The fact that Jackson made a playlist of Mark’s most played songs? Unfair. 

“I don’t make those for free, you know. I only made one for Jinyoung and one for…” Mark appreciates the gesture and doesn’t find it an invasion of privacy to unlock his phone; he considers Jackson a lot more than a friend and everyone else saw him fall hard and fast by way of charm, extra large puppy dog eyes, and a cute smile. 

“Nevermind. Forgot I said anything. I thought I'd try dessert. If you're up for the challenge, that is.” He’s taunting for the thrill of it to pull that competitive streak out of the other. “I won’t help you with anything, it’s up to you to use everything I’ve taught you.”

“I'm always up for a challenge,” Jackson pulls the shirt over his head and Mark really wishes he could smooth talk his way into a shirtless baking session today; the Adonis Belt Jackson works hard for is a pretty sight for his tired eyes. He leers a little too long at it, biting his lower lip and he doesn’t see how Jackson’s ears turn red from embarrassment. “Bring it on, show me the recipe.”

“Chocolate layer cake. To celebrate our last lesson, no less.” They fool around and work at the same time - Mark reads off the ingredients one at a time, sometimes veering off into Mandarin instead of english just to see if Jackson’s still paying attention. Jackson measures everything and follow instructions much better than he did at the start, focusing with intensity and trying to make every single measuring cup even and level. 

“It’s not cake without frosting.” Jackson scrunches his nose up at the very idea of a naked cake. It’s practically an insult. 

“I bought pre-made frosting, nobody needs to know we’re cutting corners here.” So what if he doesn’t make it from scratch? Nobody needs to know the truth about those chain restaurants, anyway. Mark can’t say that about where he works, however, since he’s pulled a few prep shifts and nearly everything is made daily. Jaebum is there in the mornings doing the dirty work on the same level as his employees.

The hand mixer that Jackson claimed he had somewhere seemed to have grown legs and walked away just as he needed it. Typical. “Mix it by hand, just like they did before electricity. And no pouting, the eyes don’t work on me anymore.” The image of Jackson's hands grasping a wooden spoon is burned permanently into Mark’s memory, his fingers flexing and knuckles bent around the handle with such ease like something out of a bad porn movie that starts with campy dialogue.

“This isn't part of your healthy regimen, but you can't live your entire life eating whole grains and organic vegetables.” Mark believes in a healthy dose of five guy’s french fries despite the grease soaking through the bag, making it translucent at worst. Jackson begs to differ. “It's time for some white sugar and butter. Those muscles of yours are dangerous.”

“if it means keeping you around, I'll fit a little more of it into my diet.” Jackson sticks his tongue out. Mark feels restless and jiggles his leg up and down to keep his mind from wandering even more as to what Jackson's mouth would be good at besides talking. He’s been pushing away these thoughts for weeks but they always manage to crawl back to the front of his mind at the least convenient time. “If I eat this and then get acne it’ll be all your fault. It took me years just to clear up my skin!”

“Don’t be a baby, I’d love you even if you had acne.” 

“I’d love you if you got a really ugly hairstyle. Like a perm.”

 

They leave the cake batter to rest for a bit and Mark rattles off more directions, laughing because he forgot to grease the pan. He recounts the story of how he forgot to use nonstick spray on a muffin tin and half of them were stuck inside the tray, and the rest came out in unfortunate chunks in great detail until he runs out of ways to make his early culinary mistakes funny. “Any cake pan is fine, it’s not like Gordon Ramsay will come here and judge you for using the wrong one.” 

“Maybe I want him to rate my food, did you consider that?” Jackson miraculously has something that fits the recipe and attacks it with nonstick spray. He tosses the wooden spoon in the sink behind him. “I watch Master Chef, I know things.” 

“You couldn’t survive a critique of his, trust me,” Without proper education he can’t critique food either, he learned by trial and error, his parents, and a little help from Seokjin. “Hey! I didn't get to lick the batter off of the spoon.” When Mark used to bake with Seokjin in their free time they’d rock-paper-scissors over who was lucky enough to lick the spoon. If they went past three rounds it went to Namjoon.

“I haven't killed you with my cooking yet,” Jackson teases, going the extra mile to stick his tongue out like the overgrown child that he is and Mark dunks his clean finger into the bowl, cake batter running down his pointer finger and the side of his hand. “So, how is it?” 

Mark makes a show of licking all of it off slowly, pink tongue getting every last drop of batter and chasing any that dares to run towards his wrist, taking his time with the whole process. The noises are wet, a little obscene and bordering on excessive. That other shoe better drop soon or Mark will have to up the ante. “Perfect. You're my favorite student.”

“I'm you're only student.” Jackson coughs and fills up a glass of water, chugging it all in one pull and avoiding eye contact until Mark decides he's done torturing him with cake batter. He pulls off with a pop, his finger thoroughly cleaned and the room is definitely warmer than when he arrived. Mark tugs at his shirt collar since the air feels heavy even with the open windows and a little breeze coming in, rolls the sleeves up to his forearms.

There's some cake batter on his face at the side of his mouth where Jackson's trying not to stare, not to imagine something else sticky that Mark would gladly taste. 

“It'll go in the oven for a half hour and then we'll check on it. Are you feeling okay?” 

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine. Thirty minutes.” Mark excuses himself to wash his hands and feels a sadistic bit of joy in how Jackson's ears are redder than earlier and a tinge of pink dusts his cheeks from the show earlier. 

He comes back to Jackson cleaning the few dirty dishes, scrubbing too hard for cake batter. “Is something wrong?” He plays stupid like he doesn’t know it’s taking all of Jackson’s willpower to keep his hands to himself today.

“Everything’s fine, we should have lunch.” Mark calls their favorite takeout place, the one that brings extra pairs of chopsticks so Jackson can hoard them in his drawer and use them when he doesn’t feel like using metal utensils. 

 

 

Between letting the frosting come to room temperature and the cake coming out of the oven to cool, Mark’s hyper-aware that Jackson’s eyes are glued to him like that’s normal, amazed of his finesse in the kitchen even after more than two months of having him over and their friends accusing them of dating from an early point on. “You’re a natural at this, Mark.”

It’s not exactly his forte and whatever he learned about pastry he learned from Seokjin after a few tries and more than a few ruined cakes that were repurposed into something edible (that Hoseok and Jimin inhaled like they were starving, no less); this time around Mark manages a mostly even cut through. He’s impressed it was even possible with a semi-dull bread knife in the first place.

“You think so?” The praise isn’t new, he’s used to it from coworkers and from his parents and siblings. When it comes from Jackson he preens a little, flashing a toothy smile. “It’s nothing special, I don't specialize in pastry. That's Jin’s territory.”

“I like you more, don’t tell him that or he’ll be upset with me.” Jackson’s technique of putting the two cake halves back together with a thick spread of frosting results in some of it getting on his arm, some of it on his wrist. Mark thins out what’s left until it’s viscous and drips down the top and sides - it runs until there’s no more cake left and Jackson gets bold enough to swipe the runaway frosting from the plate and lick his thumb clean. “Namjoon would be jealous if he found out I play favorites with my friends. He’s sensitive, you know.”

“Namjoon doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body, who are you kidding? I think you’re the sensitive one, if you ask me.” 

Jackson goes back for another taste of the frosting that didn’t make it out of the bowl, fake sugar residue sticking to the backs of his teeth. “Try it.” _Two can play at this game_ , Mark thinks, swallowing a dry lump in his throat. He’s jerked off to the image of Jackson’s hands more than once before. “It’s sweet.”

Mark knows he’s going into dangerous territory of their friendship when he opens his mouth on command, anticipating the taste even though he knows the taste, the artificial vanilla and preservatives dulled by the heavy cream used to thin it out on his tongue. “Mmm.” He swallows all of it and drags the pad of his tongue over Jackson’s finger, feelings the ridges and warmth of it in his mouth and making the process unnecessarily long.

The tension in the kitchen is thick - Mark inches closer to Jackson by this magnetic force, pulling his glaze-free finger out and letting his gaze linger on jackson’s mouth (which is open in anticipation.) “It _is_ sweet.” His tongue darts out to lick the excess off his lips.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” That’s when they both realize the feeling is mutual (otherwise Mark wouldn’t have blown Jackson’s finger moments ago) and Jackson hauls Mark up on the counter long enough for Mark to wrap his legs around his waist. The muscle there is taut and there's a little give, a slight layer of fat but it's ultimately unnoticeable. “You’re the worst, do you even know how long I've wanted to kiss you?”

Mark laughs into the junction of Jackson’s neck, inhaling a scent that isn’t Jackson’s usual smell; citrus and powder fresh body wash. He must have changed his shampoo since the last time Mark used it. He then realizes that it’s _his_ shampoo and his body wash. There are two regular sized bottles in the bathroom now, probably an upgrade of the travel size he left here weeks ago.

Mark becomes dizzy with the thought that Jackson used his body wash when they were apart as a means to keep something of Mark present in his life. It’s one thing when a girl smells like her boyfriend, an obvious sign of claiming the other, but when it’s two people who aren’t in a committed relationship? 

“So are you, strolling into the restaurant looking like a Greek god with your muscles. I couldn’t stop looking at your thighs, either. And then you said you want to help kids! And you’re so nice to your parents and you’re hot, did I say that already? Fuck, you're so hot.” It’s the perfect opportunity to feel the muscles on Jackson’s shoulders and back, digging his nails in just to make Jackson groan and swear. It’s an indescribable feeling to touch without the fear of rejection. “Seokjin wouldn’t stop teasing me for two weeks about it and Jimin says you have a nice butt.”

Between carrying Mark to the couch and dropping him on it, Jackson’s the one to laugh, high and loud and brazenly. “Jimin says my butt is nice?”

“ _Everyone_ thinks your butt is nice but Jimin’s brave enough to say it.” 

Mark forgets that there’s cake on the counter. Jackson forgets the window is wide open. “Do you remember that night at the club? When that tool tried to dance with you and then I saved you?”

Suburban traffic and noise mills about underneath them; Mark nods. He wasn’t saved, he’s not a damsel, but that guy was kind of pushy.

“I wanted to take you home and bend you over that counter, let everyone know you’re mine.” Mark rolls his hips up to meet Jackson's from where they're positioned on the couch and throws his neck back as a display of submission in an attempt to get more leverage and finally, finally kiss. “And god, I saw your teeth, and I thought it'd be great if you used them on me.” Like a living, breathing, attractive chew toy.

“I won't say no to that after you finally kiss me.” 

“God, yeah, I can't believe how stupid we've been this whole time.” It's finally happening after weeks of them going in circles around each other and Mark losing sleep over a what if that never existed in the first place. Jackson kisses too eagerly and it’s messy for a first but Mark doesn't mind the enthusiasm, winding his fingers into Jackson's hair (and he's getting accustomed to the brown color now after seeing him with blond hair for so long, his skin glows regardless of what color his hair is). Mark goes back for another kiss on his closed mouth when the first one ends and Jackson doesn't hesitate to leave soft kisses on Mark's cheek after, falling back into Mandarin without realizing it. “When did you figure it out?”

“I wanted you all to myself when we went for that drive, when I told you about my ex. And when I slept over, imagined what it’d be like to make that a little more permanent, you know?” He neglects to say how Bambam let the truth out too, as nonchalantly as he talks about Yugyeom’s snoring or Jungkook’s bunny teeth. “What about you?”

“I think I just.” Jackson’s hair falls forward and he’s kneeling over Mark’s torso on the couch, grasping onto the cushions so tight they’ll break into pieces. It’d be nice to link their hands together, to close the intimacy gap until it doesn’t exist anymore but they’ve done it already. The vine in his chest, in his throat, around his heart is gone now, replaced with fully-bloomed Bauhinia flowers. It’s not choking him anymore and that’s what letting go feels like. “When you talked about yourself and how far you’ve come just to get here, I knew that I wanted to keep you around.”

Jackson's coffee from breakfast is sweet and Mark tastes that first when he finally opens his mouth, finally letting tongue in (a splash of creamer, two Truvia packets and a dash of cinnamon). He's addicted to the texture of Jackson's mouth - how his bottom lip is rougher from his bad habit of chewing on it out of nerves but his top lip is softer. Mark isn’t a vocal person when he’s with someone but he asks for more, for another kiss when they pull back to breathe. 

For a second, words escape them but it doesn't last very long. “Let's go to my room, I don't want to let my neighbors on the balcony hear us.” 

“Yeah, whatever you want.” Mark would fuck him on the couch if he had the chance. Maybe they can stop making weekends about food and about sex and food, killing Mark's dry spell for good and giving it the funeral it deserves. (They'll invite their friends over to have a party and then tell them to leave so they can have some more sex.) “That night I slept over after the beach, I went home and thought about what it'd feel like to do things besides sleep on your bed.” Jackson doesn't stop at the bed and sits down on it with Mark still wrapped around him. Mark's skin is baby soft, he's never had acne a day in his life and Jackson will never stop fawning over the fact - he's free to marvel at Mark's face and his pretty high cheekbones, the elegant slope of his nose. “What about your clients? Will they care if I leave any hickies?”

“Do it anyway.” That's all Mark needs, sinks his teeth into the unmarked skin on Jackson's clavicle and sucks a bruise into it. He can't help himself, pushing the other flat on his back and working upwards until he's at Jackson's throat. “Makes it hurt.”

“Masochist?” 

“For you.” Mark laughs into the slight ticklish feeling in his sides from being stabilized; Jackson swears and begs Mark to go on even if he draws blood. “Don't move too much unless you want to go farther than this today.”

“There's a lot of time for us now, you owe me a few sleepovers. And we can get Jinyoung back for Jaebum’s visits while we're at it.”

“Let's make out on your couch and it'll be even better.” Mark sinks his teeth into thicker skin under Jackson's jaw and the latter groans like he's dying - Mark whimpers and ignores the earlier warning, feeling something hard under him. “Jesus, warn me when you're going to draw blood.” 

The soft licks to the tender area contrasts the biting, contrasts the neediness they're both feeling. Mark feels bad at the little droplets of blood that are his fault but Jackson likes how it stings when he turns his head or applies pressure. “When we met I kept repressing this side of me, how I like guys but never got to say it or experience it since I mostly dated girls.” Jackson is hard and so is Mark, they could get off right now and talk later but words spill out of him like a dam about to burst from pressure. “When I saw you I just knew you were different, that you weren't another guy I found attractive, and I’ve found a lot of guys attractive. I ran away from my feelings because I didn't know if it was okay to just fall for you at first sight.” Mark makes quick work pushing Jackson's shirt up, feeling muscles again and nibbling at his throat where he didn't already. “I want to be a good experience for you and for me too. You're the first guy I want to be something real with.” Mark wants them to result in something more than sex and more than complicated feelings.

The world keeps moving forward and time ticks on - they left their shoes and coats at the door, their phones in the kitchen and they should have left their clothes at the bedroom door. Mark feels at home here, familiar hands rubbing up and down his back while he gathers his thoughts. “I think I love you.”

He can't do it anymore, can't use Jackson like a chew toy without getting something out of the way otherwise the tightness in his chest might become permanent. “Mark, do you want to go on a date tonight? We already ordered in. Let's keep doing what we're doing now.”

“Yes, oh god _yes_. We can make out and that'd be great too, just put the delivery in the fridge.” They've been dating for weeks now without realizing it, the sleepovers and Netflix nights and shared glances that were never a secret to begin with. They were dating before they stopped denying the truth, before that coffee mug broke in the kitchen and Mark could finally let go, “It's been a long time since I've been with someone, I'm sorry.”

“I never said it was a bad thing,” Mark doesn't have anything else to prove to himself anymore. He doesn't want to rush anything, not even kissing. “I think I love you too.”


	9. last course - digestif

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ll let you figure it out for yourself.” Mark pinches Jackson’s butt and it’s his turn to tease once more before stealing a quick kiss and pulling him to the bedroom. “We’re wasting daylight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is posted late! my internet has been in and out lately, plus i had my own stuff to take care of before I even remembered to post this.
> 
> so, here we are, it's the end. thank you to everyone who's read and commented, left kudos, and bookmarked! it's been a great time writing this and i'll be going away to see day6 next week so i'm unsure when i'll be posting next

Every good story ends in a wedding, is what Mark believed growing up, caught up in the romance fed to him by Disney stories and television shows. It's not his story that ends that way; his is just getting started after all.

Time passes as it always does with Jackson in his life - it has its frenetic moments where they steal kisses against flat surfaces and calm moments where all they want to do is take a break and smell the metaphorical roses together. Now that they're a pair absolutely nothing has changed, not even when they're with friends.

“How are your parents?” A few months have come and gone since Jaebum’s coming out. His father seems to have relaxed, his own come to Jesus moment making him see the light and welcome Jinyoung into the family. It was rough on Jaebum to see his father struggle to accept that there's no chance of him ever changing. It was his mother who bridged the gorge between Jaebum and his father, kissing his forehead suddenly one night and apologizing for their misunderstanding. What caught them both off guard was her stating that Jinyoung would be coming over for dinner next week and he needs to pick a day so she can start to cook. 

“They met Jinyoung, I think they like him more than me.” The motion of peeling cabbage leaves stops when one breaks off unevenly and Jaebum grasps the head a little too tight. The restaurant is closed today, his parents out of town for two weeks to visit his family back in Korea and they left him in charge. “Nothing we do is traditional, you know. Our friends, our lives, none of it is what our parents expected. But I really love Jinyoung a lot and it's hard to imagine my life without him.” 

“What are you saying? Just tell me.” Mark puts the mandolin down and stretches. “Relax your jaw, it's bad for you.”

“I want to propose to Jinyoung. Do you think it's too soon?” It's empty in the prep area save for the two of them, a radio playing and Jaebum singing along to whatever come on while Mark drums on the metal counter. “Mark, what should I do?”

“You have to do what's right for you. But it’d make him really happy if you ask me.” 

 

Jimin calls Operation Markson officially over, much to the group chat’s disapproval. The big question of the hour is who won the betting pool and it's a matter of getting everyone together to discuss it. 

It happens over at one of the local parks when the fall weather is settled deep in everyone's bones and Mark and Jackson have no idea what's going on. The joint effort of Jimin and Taehyung making an excel sheet didn't go to waste - the losers’ names were bolded in red once the news broke of Markson officially dating and half of the group either swore or threw in the towel, knowing they lost. “Alright! The first and final meeting of the Markson council has started!!” Hoseok bangs an empty soda bottle against his knee and Momo rolls her eyes at his childishness despite her encouraging worse behavior back at his apartment. “Seeing the final results here, the first ones out are….” Taehyung makes a drumroll against the ground for too long until Sana pulls his hands away and clasps them tightly together. “Yoongi and Dahyun! Sorry, pass over your dues.” 

A mason jar gets filled up with five and ten dollar bills as more names are called. Jimin huffs and hands over fifteen dollars because he thought he had it in the bag after the group trip to the beach. It's down to Jinyoung, Seokjin, and Taehyung at the very end. “Whoever is the closest gets everything in this jar, the sore loser Namjoon who bravely contributed twenty dollars is not one of them.” Seokjin laughs and leans back into his boyfriend's embrace, kissing his cheek as an apology for being reckless with his bet. 

Jihyo occasionally has to walk around otherwise her knee gets stiff and it hurts to walk - Mina offers to go with her for a short walk around so Jihyo can lean against someone when she gets tired. Youngjae trots behind her patiently, their hands linked together. (They happened accidentally, two introverted personalities that happen to be in the same place at the right time.) 

“Now,” Yoongi takes a sip of iced coffee and squints at the excel sheet, rubbing hi eyes from too many late nights working on that godforsaken mixtape. “Taehyung predicted the end of September, Seokjin in the beginning of October, and Jinyoung in the first week of October. Because we don't have an official date,” (And neither do Mark or Jackson, if you ask them what day should be their anniversary they would stare blankly before shrugging.) “Do we want to rock paper scissors over this or should we call them?”

“Divide it by three.” Jinyoung picks the diplomatic route. He knows Mark is too sharp to fall for an innocuous question to risk the betting pool. “That way nobody loses.”

“Aish, this isn't your second grade class.” Yoongi crumples up the sheet and tosses it at Hoseok’s face. He’s caught off guard and the paper bounces off his cheek. “Jiminnie, split it by three.” 

Jihyo comes back from her walk. “So, who won?” She's very much alone now but nobody comments on that. “Youngjae and Mina got lost somewhere, they'll find the way back.” 

Nobody is blind. “Sure, they got lost all right.” 

They're all firm believers in Jackson being a positive catalyst for all of this change, for a new and happier environment. “We split it between the top three.” Taehyung folds bills in half and tucks it into his wallet that he'll probably spend on Sana or Sana’s newly adopted pet rabbit, the same one from the shelter that liked the taste of the wooden office furniture instead of the expensive treats provided. Jinyoung gives the money to Jaebum to stash in their rainy day fund for emergencies and Seokjin will cash it so he can buy a new cutting board since Namjoon broke theirs (somehow, he doesn’t know but Namjoon isn’t allowed near the next one).

 

Dating Jackson is like being his best friend, is the conclusion that Mark comes to. They spend every Saturday together either cooking or talking about things they haven’t talked about yet. “When we first met you barely said a word,” Jackson squeezes Mark’s waist tight, feels ribs and he doesn’t dare tickle Mark just yet otherwise it’ll kill the mood and the heat rising on their faces from proximity. They’re shameless now about alone time, holed up in either apartment together or eliciting a loud “eww!” from Yugyeom and Bambam when they’re with the others. “And now all you’re doing is talking! Your mouth has better purposes, you know.”

Mark grins, twists around in Jackson’s grasp and gets up close to his ear. “Keep it PG, tiger, I don’t put out until the third date.”

“Then explain why we almost had sex on my bed before.” And almost on the couch, and almost at Mark’s apartment, the latter interrupted by Jinyoung coming back and asking for Mark’s help with groceries. “Yi-En, you can’t play coy with me now that you’ve got me.”

Mark tries to come up with a comeback, instead he’s reduced to a fit of laughter from Jackson tickling his sides, long and skinny fingers digging into the skin and relentlessly torturing Mark until he begs for mercy. It’s not that he hates being tickled - Jaebum’s reactions are more interesting but he’s only let Jinyoung try it a few times. “If you take me on a real date I might change my mind, and I’m not a cheap date.” Mark is out of breath and it sounds less convincing when he’s choking on giggles. “I want a lobster.”

“A lobster, hm?” Jackson stifles his own laughter at the ridiculous statement. “That kind of counters all of the takeout, doesn’t it?” 

“There’s something else I could take out and enjoy right now,” The line was so cheesy and it’s straddling the line of serious and not serious that even Jackson blushes, looking down at his belt and hoping he doesn’t have a different reaction. “Eyes up here, hey.”

They have no plans today, no obligations to weigh them down. Their friends haven’t scheduled anything crazy for tonight since midterms have caught some of them in a bear trap and won’t be free for at least another week. Mark weasels out of Jackson’s hold and lures him away from the kitchen (where everything began and everything starts) towards the hall. “So maybe I’m spoiled, I like high quality goods.”

That makes Jackson raise an eyebrow. “And what am I, if you only like high quality?” Dating Mark is about the hunt, and Jackson has been his prey the entire time without knowing. Mark likes to chase and Jackson likes to be wanted, so it all works out. But this time Jackson wants to chase back, wants to back Mark into a corner too.

“I’ll let you figure it out for yourself.” Mark pinches Jackson’s butt and it’s his turn to tease once more before stealing a quick kiss and pulling him to the bedroom. “We’re wasting daylight.” 

 

“What’s up with Jin?” Everyone’s been tiptoeing around him at work for the last few days, afraid of him snapping at them for no good reason. “Namjoon, you live with him. What’s his deal?”  
Namjoon cranes his neck out, looks around to see if Seokjin is anywhere near the register. He’s in the back doing extra prep for a small catering order Jaebum left him in charge of. “He uh.” Namjoon twists a ring around on his pointer finger. “He quit smoking and we’re just waiting for the grouchiness to wear off.”

“Oh, good for him.” As long as Mark’s known Seokjin he’s been a smoker. It’s never been an issue with him or Taehyung; Seokjin took his smoke breaks with Yoongi and rarely made a fuss over it. There’s no time like the present to quit, though. “Is he feeling alright?”

“Well, he threw a pillow at me and whined because I folded one of his shirts wrong. I bought him a new pastry bag tip as an apology.” It’s temporary. When the nicotine cravings pass for good it’ll be for the best. “I’m waiting until he’s better to tell him I got offered a professor’s position at the university. You can keep a secret for me.”

“Congrats, man! All of your slaving away was worth it.” Maybe Namjoon will leave the restaurant but at least it’ll be for bigger and better things. “When do you start?”

“Next academic year, so I have a while. The offer isn’t on paper yet but the department head talked to me about it privately.” He looks sheepish, keeps his head down and that humble mask on. He should be proud of this. “It’ll mean we can save more, I can buy Seokjin the things he deserves for working so much.”

Mark gets it. Seokjin is in his own nicotine-withdrawal world right now and Namjoon is all about the sentiment of words. “You’re a good guy, Seokjin is lucky to have you.”

“I could say the same about you, I’ve never seen Jackson this happy before. He never shut up about you before and now he has a reason not to.”

“I think I’m the same way, Jinyoung is getting sick of it, I’m pretty sure.”

 

Taehyung is, well, he’s enamored with Sana’s rabbit. He spends more time at the J-trio apartment than Hoseok, who prefers to do all of his flirting with Momo on the clock and at Yoongi and Jimin’s expense. “Choko! Come here!” 

Sana’s tapping away at homework on her laptop and Taehyung checks twitter aimlessly on his phone, entertaining the rabbit so he doesn’t chew on the charger. The rabbit hops over and doesn’t give Taehyung the time of day, popcorning on the floor until he’s tired. “Tae, let him rest. It’s hard being adorable.”

“You would know that, wouldn’t you?” He grabs Sana’s ankle where it hangs off the gently used couch and she purses her lips at him using her own cuteness as self defense. “Is Jihyo feeling better?”

“Yeah! Dahyun took her to the doctor and she doesn’t need to use her crutches as often. She should be off them in a few months.” Sana looks comfortable and Taehyung takes great joy in messing with her. She likes him for the fact that he's styled her hair more than once when they've gone out on top of the fact he's cute and charming. They're still learning about each other, every day Sana finds out something new about him be it embarrassing or funny or serious. Taehyung drags one fingertip up and down the sole of her foot and she shrieks, putting her laptop down for safety and giving Choko the opportunity to get into his cage while she gets her own revenge. 

 

It’s the night for one of Jinyoung’s bi-monthly teacher’s meetings with the board and Jaebum is pacing in the kitchen with a velvet box weighing heavy in his pocket. Mark’s reclining on the couch with Jackson’s head in his lap, finger combing his hair like an extra large lapdog. “He’s going to say yes, stop worrying. You made him his mom’s favorite dish on top of it.”

The kitchen smells like Jinyoung’s childhood home and Mark recalls the smell on the few occasions that he visited. Jaebum is familiar with the Park family to the point he’s another son but that’s different from what he’s planning tonight. He's visibly nervous, which is uncommon for someone like him. Jinyoung is sentimental, values his privacy just like Jaebum and there are so many memories in this apartment that it makes sense for Jaebum to do it here. “Mark, tell me it'll be okay again.”

Frazzled is a new look that Mark hasn’t seen before on Jaebum, even when they were seriously understaffed and he had to jump in to help the servers. Jackson looks up at Mark in pure confusion because of the chaos in the kitchen and how can Mark be so laid back? “It'll be okay. Jinyoungie gets back in twenty-five minutes so go get dressed and I'll clean up.” 

“Thank you.” 

 

Mark and Jackson make their exit ten minutes before Jinyoung gets back; they duck out to go to Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, crammed around hand me down furniture and D-list horror movies in the background. It's good to be around friends that knew them as single people, and Namjoon exposes Jackson's embarrassing college stories which prompts Jackson to hide his face while Mark stores them for later. “So, what's going on tonight? Is something up with Jinyoung?” 

“Ah, yeah.” Mark and Seokjin are left alone to talk now, their other halves catching up too. “Jaebum is gonna propose tonight, I didn't want to be around for that.” 

“WHAT.” It's loud enough for Namjoon to perk his ears up, ask if everything's alright. “Jaebum is proposing tonight! Took him long enough!” Namjoon’s jaw drops open and Jackson carefully closes it again. “I know!”

“Holy shit!” Is the only coherent response that Namjoon comes up with. 

The onslaught of texts from Jinyoung signal that it all went well. 

 

Jinyoung feels giddy, like he's floating and his feet don't touch the floor (because Jaebum picked him up off the floor after emphatically shouting _Yes!_ and promptly passing out). “Hi.” His feet dangle off the couch and Jaebum hovers over him, one arm lifting his head up and the other bracing himself.

“You said yes. Thank God you said yes, I was worried.” Jaebum looks really cute with his hair out of place, Jinyoung thinks. When he looks up he sees the living room’s popcorn ceiling, the shadows of furniture on the walls and Jaebum’s face. What a great face. “So, do you want to call your mom or your sisters?”

“They can wait some more, I want you right now.” Jinyoung dislikes surprises, he prefers the predictability that comes with lesson plans and routines and schedules. But he loves Jaebum and all of the disorder that comes with him, uprooting his schedule and his life just to get more time together. All of the years of hiding and secrecy on Jaebum’s end have been worth it for their relationship to progress like this. So he kisses Jaebum like he's starving, tastes the red chili flakes stuck to the roof of his mouth. 

When the light catches the gold band on his finger they can't help but break apart for air and collapse into a fit of laughter. “My fiance. My fiance, Park Jaebum.” 

“I like the sound of Im Jinyoung too, what do you think?”

“I think we should go upstairs.”

 

The restaurant doesn't close very often, except for holidays and when the Im family is away. This time it's closed for the evening for a different occasion, something Jaebum’s parents never expected. 

Jinyoung’s parents and siblings left already and the usual motley crew is left to take over the dining room, tables cleared away to make room. Youngjae makes a toast to his cousin and his future cousin-in-law, raising a red solo cup filled with carbonated water. “We're not married!, just engaged!” Jinyoung protests but there's no other people he’d prefer to be with right now. “Aish, so embarrassing.” His head makes contact with Jaebum’s shoulder. 

Mark looks around the room instead, sees the abundance of personalities that shouldn't coexist but they just do. He looks at Jackson, at Jinyoung who's staring hopelessly in love at Jaebum, at Bambam who's settled happily between Yugyeom and Jungkook without a care in the world. He sees Hoseok who's bantering with Namjoon and Yoongi, Jimin who's laughing with Momo about something that happened when he wasn't at work.

It's a room full of very busy people with very busy lives but they manage to find time for each other. Mark tells Jinyoung he'll see him at home when Jackson tugs on his hand that he's had enough. “Be safe, you two!” Jinyoung is hauled into a bridal carry and paraded around the room so their friends take turns pinching his cheek or congratulating him. “Don't do anything I wouldn't do!” 

“Coming from Mark, it doesn't leave much now, does it?”

“Hey! I heard that!” 

 

Mark's car is quieter, most of the noise from the engagement party muted by distance. “Come on, sleepy head, we're going home.” Mark shuffles stuff around in his car, digging a CD out and blowing dust off it. “When you said you wanted a mixtape. I made you one.”

“Do you mean it?” Of course Mark does, he picked every single track himself. “You made me a mixtape.”

“Do you want to listen to it now or later?” The car is still in park; Mark hasn't even put his seat belt on yet. “I don't mind, it's your choice.” 

“Later. It's special, right? So it's only fair that I listen to it alone.” 

"Don't lose that, I only made one." 

Jackson, ever the drama king, says "I'll guard it with my life. And my afterlife."

"Your afterlife? Do you think we'll be together that long?" The roads are empty but Mark's right hand isn't - his fingers intertwined with Jackson's just as they should be. 

"I think so." Mark thinks so too.

 

"What would you say if I looked at culinary classes?" Mark doesn't have the time to commit to school and the quick lessons from Seokjin aren't enough. "I mean, I value what you have to say, before you assume I'm fishing for attention." 

Jackson rolls over and stretches, an occasional pop or crack from his shoulder and knee. "I'd support you, why do you even need to ask? If it means making you better at your job then I'd support you." They've been together long enough to be living in each other's apartments while maintaining separate leases - Mark finally got a copy of Jackson's keys for Christmas. It sounds insignificant but that's all he wanted. Jackson peeks over at the laptop screen, at Mark's hesitance to click on anything beyond the home page. "What are you afraid of?"

"A lot of things, but," He exhales. There's always a but. "What if I can't do it?"

"You're going to do it, don't make me call Jinyoung." Jackson has left the world of personal training, left JYP Fitness behind and pursued his physical therapy job. It hasn't changed anything, it's given him steadier hours and benefits, which is just as attractive to Mark as Jackson getting paid to work out. 

"He's wedding planning, that's hard enough." 

"So then take a chance. You took a chance with me and it turned out great." Mark snorts. 

"When you snore and steal the blankets I could live without that." 

"Listen, we're not here to attack me, that's another day." Mark crosses his arms and the computer screen goes dark from inactivity. "Just try it."

"You don't mind being my guinea pig, do you? It's hard to say no to free food."

"When you need help with chocolate, I'm there. Unless you want to make that cake again."

"I did that to win you over, make your own damn cake now." Mark's teasing, sticks his tongue out at Jackson before kissing him on the mouth and lets it unfurl into something deeper, tangling his fingers in Jackson's hair and scooting back on the bed to make room between his legs for the other to slide between. Sure, cake is rich, but his life is richer now than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, for those of you who are curious about the mix tape, i'll post the song titles and artists that i used to kind of set the theme/help me write every chapter.
> 
> track 1 - the limousines / very busy people  
> track 2 - the hush sound / we intertwined  
> track 3 - mystery skulls / paralyzed  
> track 4 - andrew macmahon in the wilderness / driving through a dream  
> track 5 - thirty seconds to mars / kings and queens  
> track 6 - walk the moon / avalanche  
> track 7 - fall out boy / alone together  
> track 8 - panic! at the disco / collar full   
> track 9 - yeah yeah yeahs / hysteric


End file.
